Cathartic journaling of an adoptive mom.
Latest Posts
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Learning to respond
When adults around me lost their shit I would not engage. It was not the freeze from flight flight or freeze I would ride above it and observe the adult. Teachers got angry grandparents got angry neighbors got angry authority in general They called me a mute. But as a kid, I did what wise…
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Agency and character
My kids don’t belong to me. They don’t belong to their foster family. They are not bound to their bio roots either. My kids belong to God. And my purpose in their lives is to influence their character, to help them know and love their Maker. They have agency though. It’s God’s gift to humanity.…
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Fearless discomfort
I am part of #mopscluj and when I booked my ticket for America this winter, I took into consideration the date of the gathering, and booked my ticket out the following day. My tribe. I enjoy being alone. I can discern God’s voice and my calling, with clarity, unencumbered by so many variables. But as…
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About trust
Being trustworthy is something we build in time. It starts with our parents giving us responsibility according to our ability, and as we learn, as we become more able, agile, responsible, the trust grows. Our trust in ourselves. Our parent’s trust in us. But what a gift trust is! I have felt at times that…
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To have agency
We like to be rescuers even when we don’t like to rescue. In social science, agency is defined as the capacity of individuals to act independently and to make their own free choices. God gave us free will. Isn’t that great! Not just for us, but it takes the pressure off of us to convince our…
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Thanksgiving
Three more weeks until we go to the States. Meanwhile we live the depth and the width of our lives. Together with our friends and partners at Polylogos.eu we are hosting and preparing a few events. An impending one is next weekend, and I am thrilled about it. In partnership with WEF @womenempowerforum and MinteForte.ro…
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Cold-Turkey
We entered a new stage. I wasn’t oblivious to the temporary peace and understanding we were just experiencing these last two months. Yet change happened overnight. For example, now, all of a sudden, when we correct Ivy (as usual, at her level, with the same warmth and understanding), or when we say no to her,…
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Compliments
For a month now, my daughters have been showering me with compliments. They say it out-loud everywhere: “You are such a good mom! You are the best mom! I love you so much.” They say this at the pool, in the grocery store, at church, out on a walk… I am glad they appreciate me.…
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Home and hospitality
I grew up in a small apartment. But my parents seemed oblivious to the lack of abundant space and resources, so when we hosted people for meals or overnight, we gave everything we had without overthinking it. I just wish our one bathroom was more posh than it was. Anyway, we were oblivious about the…
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Moved by the Spirit
Lately I have felt more comfortable in live conversations than I had energy to summarize in writing my adventures. And there has been so much going on that even if I were to write five extensive blog posts, I couldn’t capture everything that was said and done. I have learned early on that our lives…
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Visiting Family
For many reasons, I felt no draw to travel to America the past two years. The logistics, the pandemic, the cost, the physical and mental exhaustion, managing emotions and luggage… We put off even thinking about it. Two years have gone by. Lots has happened meanwhile. Even throughout a lockdown and living lightly. We adopted…
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I have a manuscript ready
The work to polish the manuscript is daunting. It’s a book of poems born during hard times. I realize it’s a compilation of poems about depression hope and faith while waiting. The question that crossed my mind was: “who wants to read a depressing collection of poems?” But I do. I like reading these over…
