Author: Violeta
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Best friend material
“Mom, I want to have a best friend. I have friends, but so far you are my best friend. Maybe Ivy could become my best friend when she grows up.” A best friend is excited to see you, enjoys your company and has no imediate plans for your improvement. This last part disqualifies me. Or…
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Antalya or TelAviv?
There are similarities between these two cities. And major differences. But the food is just as fragrant and the sea air is magnificent. Both cities on the Mediterranean Sea. One to the north, the other one to the east. But close enough in the grand scheme. Cyprus island right between them. Equidistant. We visited Israel…
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Trip to Antalya
It is said that good friends show their support during hard times, with empathy & presence. But then I heard about friends who truly rejoice and celebrate for their friends’ success or happiness. I for one want to be that kind of friend. The kind you think to call to share some random good news…
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Welcome to the Sisterhood
Celebrating one’s birthday is complicated. Bringing together diverse people from different circles takes creativity & flexibility. I usually need to be in a particular mood to visualize such a party and bring it into play. After coming up with a couple approaches to Jackie’s upcoming 13th birthday, none of them seemed just right. She had…
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Ivy’s transfer
Over the last three years I have occasionally reflected on what I saw in Ivy’s intelectual development journey. Follow the #school tag. I am well attuned to her personality and needs. And I don’t overestimate nor do I underestimate her. I look the truth in the eyes. I don’t avert my gaze. I search in…
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Lone wolf
I have inadvertently taught my daughters to stand alone. Comfortably. If you know who you are and what you stand for, it’s not just easy but it is necessary to go the opposite way from the crowd sometimes. I saw some pictures from ivy’s last birthday. She had 3 colleagues come over. And it was…
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Tolerate frustration
A good predictor of success in adults, is how well they tolerate frustration as kids. And why. If we as adults are afraid to see our kids frustrated, they won’t just internalize the belief that they are not capable of being uncomfortable, but they will also be vulnerable to the fear of disconfort they read…
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Beauty from ashes
More than ever my parenting clashes with Conrad’s. But we are not easily discouraged, and we listen with curiosity to the other person’s point of view. We don’t have predefined structure and rules set in stone. We adapt as we go, while going back to our core values.It’s easy to jump to conclusions or be…
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Clear boundaries
By all accountsI am friendly and I enjoy my kids’ companyWe have fun togetherBut I’m not their friend. I’m their mom.A safe space.A confident leader.Warm & wise.Clear and kind.Firm and familiar. I do not seek their approvalAnd at times I know they won’t like meAnd that’s ok. I reserve the right to pull backAnd give…
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Teen Connection
There isn’t an instant solution to fixing the disconnection from our teens. But noticing or being aware of a disconnection is great to place to start. But it is possible that it will take us just as long to reconnect, as it took us to drift apart. I used to talk a lot about connecting…
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Lydia magazine article 2022
We are one of thousands of adoptive families in Romania, some of whom are considering adoption following a diagnosis of infertility, often unexplained but increasingly prevalent in our generation. As women, we carry the burden of infertility, even though recent studies show that infertility is shared equally between men and women. Growing up in the…
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O poveste despre răscumpărare și har
[articol publicat în revista Lydia in 2022] Suntem una dintre miile de familii adoptive din România, unele dintre acestea luând în considerare adopția în urma unui diagnostic de infertilitate, adesea inexplicabil, dar din ce în ce mai răspândit în generația noastră. Ca femei, purtăm povara infertilității, chiar dacă studii recente arată că infertilitatea este împărțită…