Category: Parenting
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First hike in august
With mom and dad we could do only some light hikes. And our feet were already itching for the hills. We get ready with the promise of tired legs at the end, a heart pumping healthily in our chests, sweat running down our backs and a clearer mind. I felt teary driving up to the…
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Trust
Ivy didn’t know what color group to join on the first day of Vbs. Because I didn’t have access to whatsapp where that information was shared. It ls such an experiment- flying dark. On one hand I felt that this is a kind of test. Can I take a break from the hubbub? Can I…
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not in vain
I second guess myself sometimes, and I wonder if kids hear or listen to what I say. This week Jackie was telling mom & I about her conversation with someone she cares deeply about, and how she was encouraging them to reframe their identity on a lasting foundation, not temporary objects, or what other people…
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Chinteni forest hike
My first hikes were with my grandmother in the field, in Piatra Neam Prim, with a dig on the shoulder. At the same time Conrad went with Boy Scouts (Scouts) in Vermont. And yet our paths crossed, and now we wander together through Transylvania. On the eve of the holiday, we took the time to…
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End of school year
This school year was as we hoped it would be. Smooth coasting, even with Jackie’s afternoon classes, and a possibly hectic schedule. The individual time I had with each girl was awesome. And I had energy and attention. We set boundaries and we respected them. Jackie continued to play the clarinet at home, nearly daily.…
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Little humans in our likeness
I did not give birth to my children, but with every conversation and day spent together, we shape their character, values and competence. They accuse me of bias when I use overwhelming words of affirmation, and I praise them, or acknowledge how wonderful they are. But I never say things I don’t mean. Kind words…
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Average
“Coasting the average life. Made comfortable by the parents.” We function motivated by our own experiences and often times we overcompensate. I usually lay down the facts in front of us. Without judgement. Without trying to manipulate emotionally. – This is how the world was when I was a teen. This is how I adapted…
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Words & confidence
Can you fabricate self-confidence? And if you could, would you do it? Talking about the past, as we sometimes do, I stop and tell Jackie: “Wow, what an interesting life you have!” To which she replies, matching my enthusiasm: “I know, right?” Our kids are not victims. They have agency. The way we relate to…
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Letter from Jackie
…It’s better than the most loving eulogy. And I am still around to enjoy it, and let it fill me with hope and delight. I absolutely love Jackie’s mind and heart and teachable posture. She is stubborn but clearly within her rights. Not an inch overbearing. She is reserved with most other people. Observant…
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Moștenire
Scrisoare către fiicele mele (2021) My legacy – to see you! Truly see you. Different. In your splendor. Beautiful. As God created you to be. Să te văd, Jaclyn. Să te văd, Evelyn. Sa te ascult cu o curiozitate proaspăta, iar tu la rândul tai sa vezi, sa simți, sa Asculți la fel. Sa te…
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Teen prayer & budding romance
A decade ago she would cling onto me to stay a little longer. After the bedtime stories, we would pray and then she would ask questions. Sometimes the questions were triggered by the prayer. But mostly we would unpack the day. And we would talk. There were many times I longed to escape. To go…
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Entrepreneurial mindset
Kids may surprise us many times over if we are open to the possibilities. I don’t presume to know what they will do in life, even as I notice inclinations, interests, aptitudes. It is delightful to notice and image the possibilities. My left-handed junior, the visual learner, the technical and the architect type, she struggled…