Category: Parenting
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Welcome to the Sisterhood
Celebrating one’s birthday is complicated. Bringing together diverse people from different circles takes creativity & flexibility. I usually need to be in a particular mood to visualize such a party and bring it into play. After coming up with a couple approaches to Jackie’s upcoming 13th birthday, none of them seemed just right. She had…
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Ivy’s transfer
Over the last three years I have occasionally reflected on what I saw in Ivy’s intelectual development journey. Follow the #school tag. I am well attuned to her personality and needs. And I don’t overestimate nor do I underestimate her. I look the truth in the eyes. I don’t avert my gaze. I search in…
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Lone wolf
I have inadvertently taught my daughters to stand alone. Comfortably. If you know who you are and what you stand for, it’s not just easy but it is necessary to go the opposite way from the crowd sometimes. I saw some pictures from ivy’s last birthday. She had 3 colleagues come over. And it was…
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Tolerate frustration
A good predictor of success in adults, is how well they tolerate frustration as kids. And why. If we as adults are afraid to see our kids frustrated, they won’t just internalize the belief that they are not capable of being uncomfortable, but they will also be vulnerable to the fear of disconfort they read…
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Beauty from ashes
More than ever my parenting clashes with Conrad’s. But we are not easily discouraged, and we listen with curiosity to the other person’s point of view. We don’t have predefined structure and rules set in stone. We adapt as we go, while going back to our core values.It’s easy to jump to conclusions or be…
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Clear boundaries
By all accountsI am friendly and I enjoy my kids’ companyWe have fun togetherBut I’m not their friend. I’m their mom.A safe space.A confident leader.Warm & wise.Clear and kind.Firm and familiar. I do not seek their approvalAnd at times I know they won’t like meAnd that’s ok. I reserve the right to pull backAnd give…
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Teen Connection
There isn’t an instant solution to fixing the disconnection from our teens. But noticing or being aware of a disconnection is great to place to start. But it is possible that it will take us just as long to reconnect, as it took us to drift apart. I used to talk a lot about connecting…
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O poveste despre răscumpărare și har
[articol publicat în revista Lydia in 2022] Suntem una dintre miile de familii adoptive din România, unele dintre acestea luând în considerare adopția în urma unui diagnostic de infertilitate, adesea inexplicabil, dar din ce în ce mai răspândit în generația noastră. Ca femei, purtăm povara infertilității, chiar dacă studii recente arată că infertilitatea este împărțită…
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Resolution
Thursday evening before school started, I got a call that Ivy’s transfer request got approved. I can hardly believe it! All summer we were in limbo. Did we expose ourselves by submitting a formal request to transfer Ivy? Will she be the one to suffer consequences either way? We are ready for a change. I…
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Validating emotions
For a decade I have been validating my daughter’s emotions. I feel conflicted these days because of my imagined social pressure to discourage her exclusive romantic interests, as she & him are quite young. Nobody said anything, but I feel I should have taken a firmer stance earlier. But after a lifetime of validating her…
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Priscilla
Acum 5 ani, după ce am vorbit 3 minute despre adopție în Duminica Orfanului la Biserica Iris, Nora Faragau m-a propus într-un panel de mărturii cu perspective diferite, la conferința Priscila cu tema “E vremea curajului”. Așa am ajuns să spun povestea noastră în fața unei săli pline de femei. Corina deschide cu umor și ironie,…
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In the kitchen
I am not that patient to show my kids step by step how to cook. I reluctantly give them the wheel but I try to share of what I’m doing as much as they are willing to learn. I like to cook alone. It is my time to process thoughts and I meditate and enjoy…