Category: Parenting
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Chinteni forest hike
My first hikes were with my grandmother in the field, in Piatra Neam Prim, with a dig on the shoulder. At the same time Conrad went with Boy Scouts (Scouts) in Vermont. And yet our paths crossed, and now we wander together through Transylvania. On the eve of the holiday, we took the time to…
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Little humans in our likeness
I did not give birth to my children, but with every conversation and day spent together, we shape their character, values and competence. They accuse me of bias when I use overwhelming words of affirmation, and I praise them, or acknowledge how wonderful they are. But I never say things I don’t mean. Kind words…
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Average
“Coasting the average life. Made comfortable by the parents.” We function motivated by our own experiences and often times we overcompensate. I usually lay down the facts in front of us. Without judgement. Without trying to manipulate emotionally. – This is how the world was when I was a teen. This is how I adapted…
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Words & confidence
Can you fabricate self-confidence? And if you could, would you do it? Talking about the past, as we sometimes do, I stop and tell Jackie: “Wow, what an interesting life you have!” To which she replies, matching my enthusiasm: “I know, right?” Our kids are not victims. They have agency. The way we relate to…
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Letter from Jackie
…It’s better than the most loving eulogy. And I am still around to enjoy it, and let it fill me with hope and delight. I absolutely love Jackie’s mind and heart and teachable posture. She is stubborn but clearly within her rights. Not an inch overbearing. She is reserved with most other people. Observant…
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Moștenire
Scrisoare către fiicele mele (2021) My legacy – to see you! Truly see you. Different. In your splendor. Beautiful. As God created you to be. Să te văd, Jaclyn. Să te văd, Evelyn. Sa te ascult cu o curiozitate proaspăta, iar tu la rândul tai sa vezi, sa simți, sa Asculți la fel. Sa te…
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Teen prayer & budding romance
A decade ago she would cling onto me to stay a little longer. After the bedtime stories, we would pray and then she would ask questions. Sometimes the questions were triggered by the prayer. But mostly we would unpack the day. And we would talk. There were many times I longed to escape. To go…
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Entrepreneurial mindset
Kids may surprise us many times over if we are open to the possibilities. I don’t presume to know what they will do in life, even as I notice inclinations, interests, aptitudes. It is delightful to notice and image the possibilities. My left-handed junior, the visual learner, the technical and the architect type, she struggled…
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Low stakes
I’m impressed with j’s ability to navigate difficult conversations. She gets herself in sticky situations but just as graciously she comes out the other side stronger and wiser and clearer. As I occasionally make suggestions, after we chat for a long time, I tell her she is free to make her own decision. The stakes…
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Tag! You’re it!
I noticed how j interacts with the boy she likes. Similar to how she relates to Conrad. She is sarcastic, and bossy and uninterested. I wonder if it’s a subconscious thing. For the last 3 years we have had many girly talks, and I am afraid I have inspired them to be feminists through and…
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Transfers and anxiety
A familiar sense of agitation stirs in my stomach. It usually means I am alert and ready to complete a big task. But if this feeling lingers it erodes my stomach and my peace of mind. I am determined to observe my feelings and let them be. Take deep breath and pray about the outcomes…
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Ne ținem de cuvânt
Lecția din săptămâna altfel. Livrată cu un ton apăsat. Din păcate. “Sincer, eu nu prea am chef să merg mâine in excursie cu clasa” E vineri și se încheie săptămâna altfel. Apoi începe vacanța de Paști. A fost târg azi și zilele au fost pline de distracție și gustări delicioase. Ieșirea de mâine e scumpă…