Over the last month I have spoken at three different conferences that were televised, and I had a live interview over zoom, with a wonderful conversationalist, the director of a radio station. 

We’ve had some similar appearances on adoption day, through ARFO or I spoke at their summit or book launches. More people start to know me/ us our story and it feels awkward to be a little famous among women or in the adoption community. Alas, I see value in the truth being spoken. I find vulnerability to be healing on both side, on one hand being known and lived, on the other, learning to be brave by experiencing another person’s vulnerability. 

As I plunge into the deep end, I tacke adoption head first as I feel more confident in this season of calm, I realize this is my jam, my area of expertise, and yet there is so much to learn still. I am but a beginner. And while the space allows it, as in there is a need for such conversation, and few people dare to step up, I embrace it fully. But it is not my defining trait. Adoption is part of who I am, I embrace it fully as my daughters joined our family, but I does not define me. And it does not define them. Learning to distinguish between defining characteristics, labels, life chapters is crucial for a healthy balanced life. 

Being unidimensional feel suffocating. For a brief moment is comfortable because you have your lane, but soon you discover the need to explore more of your path, your passions, your life. 

I take every experience and use it as a gift to expand my empathy skills to get an inkling of understanding others. I’m not naturally good at it. I work hard to understand and give grace. For my learning opportunity I give credit to my husband and now my kids. My cerebral approach can only take me so far. 

The bottom line? When we are tired we long for simplicity, for a unidimensional life, to focus only on work, or on church, or social programs. Our hobbies , or family, or home. But the truth is we are complex, and finding a balance is a lifelong commitment and pursuit.