Cathartic journaling of an adoptive mom.
Latest Posts
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Availability online
I admit this experiment of unavailability on WhatsApp is like abstaining from coffee for a while, just to know I can do it even if it causes me a masive headache. I do want to test if I can do it (and not yet change my number). And I used to complain I’m part of…
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Defiance
When the kids were little the girls would ask me for certain things that I usually said yes, and they asked Conrad certain other things that he usually said yes to. I would put them to bed because I would stay longer and answer more questions. He would let them play on the iPad certain…
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Useful conversations
To what degree do we make a sustained effort to engage in useful conversations? Always. Start always with the best intentions. But I personally pay attention to signs and I adapt quickly to the circumstances and move on if I hit a wall. I don’t trust others’ availability to engage if they can’t manage the…
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The book of Ruth
One week in a rustic setting in the mountains, an old cabin with a lot of history, a place where I attended camps as a preteen and then through my teen years. A holy place and a transformative time. Incredible stories, vulnerability, reverence and silence, tears of joy or grief, and relief. And a whole…
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Honesty
His distance gives her space to reflect. It is not painful to her. It actually is a blessing. Room to breathe, to think. The relationship is not just physical attraction for her. I wonder if that was the turn the relationship took too early. Like following a roadmap, and having specific milestones, and directions, but she…
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The vacation in between
It’s a hot week. Mom & dad left Europe, and we are waiting for Brian to arrive in Romania for a teen conference. Nearly three decades ago Brian and his team changed my life. And he has been the gift that kept on giving: Through poetry. Stories. Vulnerability. I’m still waiting to settle my memories…
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update on my social media
My Facebook got hacked (though a page I managed) and my birth date was changed. The account was locked because I was now in violation of their terms and conditions, due to age restrictions. I was ok loosing Facebook but the problem is that when Meta acquired WhatsApp, it linked my accounts, and now WhatsApp…
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Reset boundaries
Conrad stepped in, but not before dumping on me his frustration or worries. This is due to the fact that I’ve been playing interference as a parent (as a mom of daughters) for too long. I communicate with the girls, I listen to their concerns and objections, we reach agreements. I do this without much…
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The biggest question
“I want you to give me an honest answer. Don’t say yes just because you are my mom.” I feel a bit overwhelmed by all the emotion and responsibility. I play the devil’s advocate often. Also, inadvertently I use reverse psychology and things turn out just right. “Could this work?” She asks. “We are so…
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First hike in august
With mom and dad we could do only some light hikes. And our feet were already itching for the hills. We get ready with the promise of tired legs at the end, a heart pumping healthily in our chests, sweat running down our backs and a clearer mind. I felt teary driving up to the…
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Rescue
Ivy invites me every evening to reflect on the day and pray with them. When Jackie said she doest feel like praying, my heart aches. She is not grumpy, or moody, or tired. Her mind is elsewhere. And after I call her out on her recurring attitude, she said she doesn’t know how to talk…
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Self-doubt
There are seasons in our live when we get knocked of our feet. When we’ve listened to lies for too long. When we held the fort for too long. We are tired and the strength drains out of us. My dearest Halie, you have not lost your light, and your kindness shines through even in…
