Cathartic journaling of an adoptive mom.
Latest Posts
-
The Vista
Someone pointed out the unfairness in the order of some events in our lives. I refuse to believe that the good is balanced out by some bad. Good is good and bad has it’s place in this broken world. When we finally met our second daughter the pandemic hit and we had to wait a…
-
Making up for memory gaps
Yesterday both girls got into a discussion about their past. Jackie claimed being the first to experience poverty. Because Ivy was not even born yet. There was a combination of hearing their heart and thought process while aligning the truth that provides a strong foothold in reality. Jackie was distressed that she doesn’t remember anymore.…
-
Practical invite to the REAL Polylogos program this Fall
Leadership can’t develop in a vacuum. We need feedback, we need clear mirrors to see ourselves in, and develop self-awareness, we need guidance to begin and people to believe in us. We need to be seen. Through this program we are here to see you, and lend you our eyes to see yourselves. But also…
-
Getting off the circle
I remembered about the cycle of trust, when kids have a sort of ebb and flow, with their parents or caregiver, or person of reference. They explore the world and they return to connect with their adult. When they are little kids, this back and forth is very dense. Kids barely turn around to test…
-
Post adoption visit
It’s Friday morning. Jackie is at school already. Ivy woke up early too. It’s a warmer morning than usual. I am enjoying a slow start of the day, as I didn’t rush out the door; my parents offered to drive Jackie to school this morning. Such a gift! Ana’s visit is enthusiastically anticipated by Ivy.…
-
Scoliosis update
A year and a half ago we discovered Jackie has scoliosis. It’s practically invisible to the untrained eye, but there it was. We embarked on a journey of self discipline, wearing a corset, doing daily stretches. Mentally and emotionally exhausted, and outgrowing the corset, we took two summer months off of wearing the corset or…
-
Smile more
“Fake it until you make it.” As a worn down mom, going through the motions is not a betrayal of truth, of self or of my family. Going through the motions, of serving, washing, cooking, working, reading, soothing, listening, praying, and then taking to heart the genuine feedback of my youngest daughter during the darkest…
-
My experience was different
And there’s no better time to speak up than when the balance seems tilted in my favor. To be honest, in High-school I’ve witnessed the sexual harassment of my colleagues. The perpetrator was a teacher. Somehow I’ve dodged that bullet. Frankly I can easily pull off and mean look. I can easily give that vibe…
-
Birthday party
The more enthusiastic Jackie was, the more I dreaded the planning of her birthday party. I felt her expectations were getting out of control. But I understand her genuine kid heart and joyful anticipation. When it comes to parties, I include all people out of a sense of responsibility and usually things turn out diluted.…
-
Poetry or prose
I feel I can be more honest in poetry, because metaphor and fewer words use can hide and at the same time reveal so much more. Prose on the other hand, unstructured, poured out, takes me by surprise when it makes sense of my inner journey. But it’s messy and confusing at times. And cluttered…
-
A date and a confrontation of self
…waiting in line to get a cup of coffee to go, on a Sunday afternoon. I kept a good attitude, light, grateful. We hadn’t planned our date. We never do. Therein lies out trouble. we walked aimlessly, from establishment to establishment, just to move on empty handed. We have barely scraped the surface of reconnection…
