Category: Parenting
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First summer vacation day
The kids complain that they are bored. They play outside for a while, drawing on the pavement with chalk. We invite our neighbor’s kid for lunch. He accepts happily; as it’s summer, kids don’t visit each other indoors. So this is cool. They play with Lego, watch a movie, eat lunch together, drink Limonade. Our…
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Unidimensional
Over the last month I have spoken at three different conferences that were televised, and I had a live interview over zoom, with a wonderful conversationalist, the director of a radio station. We’ve had some similar appearances on adoption day, through ARFO or I spoke at their summit or book launches. More people start to…
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teologia adopției
Peste tot in Biblie găsim povești de adopție. Însăși Evanghelia răscumpărării noastre ca si creștinii este o poveste de adopție. Noi îl numim pe Dumnezeu, Tatăl Nostru, si intre noi ne numim frați si surori. Suntem împreuna moștenitorii, înfiați prin credință. Adopția însă nu este doar o metafora. Ca și popor al lui Dumnezeu am…
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Gratitude and a present mind
Wind swept, exhausted and fulfilled, we returned home from a days adventure with adoptive families at a local zoo, up in the woods. It was a long drive as we went to pick up Katja, our new friend, from outside the city in the opposite direction. The effort was totally worth it! The girls made…
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Ivy’s comment
Parenting is riddled with doubt, with fear, with mistakes. Seriously. On the other hand, we have seasons of fun, of connection, of growth, hope renewed and perfect peace. And those wonderful seasons are just as real as the other challenging ones. Just like I don’t worry about pride anymore. I used to as a student,…
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Moody
As a quiet person, I had a lot of time for introspection. It really helped me keep my balance. And my teenage life was not tumultuous. I remember feeling weepy occasionally, but I had learned in my preteen season, to bring my sadness to God, and not let my tears go to waste. Every night…
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The way we discipline
I have said it before, that my parents didn’t have a defined plan in how to raise us. They were not parenting book based in their approach but they were intuitive, wise, adaptable. They made mistakes and the mistakes were just as valuable as what they did well. My one frustration is that they would…
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Believe
What my daughter needs is words of encouragement. It’s her lifeline, especially when she struggles, when she doubts herself. A parent’s belief in the kids’ success comes before the success. I believe god help my unbelief. As I speak power into her heart, “you are smart, you will succeed, you will overcome this challenge” I…
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Mindset
“The damage is done. Let’s see how we can fix it.” On the receiving end, if someone with authority says that to you, instead of discussing consequences, it’s pure grace. You don’t sweep the issue under the cover. But the approach is not punitive. It’s constructive. Literally. Last week, an adoptive parent said that his…
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The road to healing
My experience as an adoptive parent tells me that the hard part is only now beginning. The ability to trust again, to rest, to find pleasure in simple activities. For some, the ability to still enjoy life in the midst of chaos may have been their saving grace. The adults have a better self-regulating system,…
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The gift of imperfection
I got a call yesterday from Jackie’s English teacher. She acknowledged Jackie’s language skill but encouraged us to help her or pay attention to her spelling. I love Jackie’s phonetical writing. It’s endearing. Conrad as a native speaker didn’t spell much better when he was her age. I honestly had no concern about her English…
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Inner-circle
To belong. To be seen. To be loved. We are an odd bunch, but we resonate with each other. We felt it was high time to create a space for adoptive families to meet again. It has been a challenging season, from pandemic and isolation to war and generally parenting small people with different personalities,…