Category: Parenting
-
Math
The “attitude of war” is becoming all too familiar. The emotional rollercoaster in our pre-pre teens has began a while ago. We would be in denial not to acknowledge it. The difference is stark between a 5 years old and a 8 years old. Something triggers her. Maybe she didn’t sleep enough, or too much.…
-
processing a season of war
This intense season feels familiar. My mommy brain has been training for such a time as this. Have you ever filled balloons with air, the classic way? I was terrified that if I blew too much air the balloon will pop in my face. It has happened once or twice. But as I see and…
-
Toxic stress
The reason kids from difficult places have special emotional needs that affect sometimes their ability to learn, is because early on their brain was flooded to stress hormones. And there was nobody to console them, to help them feel safe. To meet their needs, to offer warmth, and nourishment and rest. Many adoptive families believe…
-
Subliminal noise
Maybe we would do a better job separating the anxious thoughts bombarding us, if we weren’t also involved in helping out directly. I thought my plate was full, and then I added one more course on top of it full. I fear I may mix up events, groups, or let things fall through the cracks.…
-
When it clicks
When I run out of solutions, I blatantly point my husband or my kids to God. “Ask Him!” I say. Pray about it. I don’t know anymore. It is not a secret that my biggest trigger is a disrespectful or ungrateful attitude. I wonder sometimes if my eyes trick me and I jump to conclusions.…
-
Repair
They say it is better to make mistakes and repair than to be a perfect parent. So they say. A bone that breaks but heals well, it’s stronger than the bone that never broke. I assume it’s the other leg of the same person so we have generally the same bone density to begin with.…
-
Connection
When we are at odds with out kids, we know what they need most is connection. When they whine, they misbehave, they push boundaries, if we as parents find a way to rise above the drama, feel mercy, feel empathy, show kindness, express honesty, then the connection is reestablished. For a few days we struggled.…
-
Letter to my daughters
Before I knew you, before I become your mother, I thought about what I will leave to you. In fact, my keen desire to pass on the gifts I received, led me to adopt you. Not so much the material things, but a feeling of belonging, of security, to make room for you in the…
-
Strong foothold
My youngest demonstrates early critical thinking. She questions questionable matters. The other day she was convinced that the Alias board can unfold once more. Most board games in Austin were larger. We hasn’t played this one in two months. She kept trying to peel off to unfold it further. We told her this one is…
-
Helping our kids grow up
It has been nearly two months since ivy went to kindergarten last. She find pleasure in it every time she goes, but we struggle with some separation anxiety, which is more intense than two years ago. The fears are more acute. She is more stubborn and aware. We tested both girls for covid, as is…
-
Playmates
I overhear the girls talking. Jackie wants to play by herself an imaginary games with her dragons. They usually play together at an average childish level, with the babies, princess dolls, the cars, the playhouse, LEGO, they color together, they read together, they sled, jump, hide, play board games. The list is huge. But today…
-
Fumbling vs confidence
For the most part, we fumble in the dark. In retrospect our parents seemed so sure of themselves. Deep down, their griped the core values, while the expression of life was more made up on the go. Today, because we live such exposed lives, we try to polish the outside, while our core values remained…