Cathartic journaling of an adoptive mom.
Latest Posts
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Hospitable to teenage guests
How hard can it be? But also: how impactful? Go the extra mile. The extra 10 miles in Cluj traffic towards Floresti. I was not planning to be out for so long. I jumped in the car to go get their luggage so they can go to the mall, but there was a mixup of…
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The purpose of breaks
The thrill of acceleration, the speed and the movement. That is the visible and enjoyable purpose of a car. But the breaks are a necessary & good as well. To be in working order. Responsive. The emotional connection is real. Sustained. I wonder if they’ll regret having found such a great first love. These two…
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Words & confidence
Can you fabricate self-confidence? And if you could, would you do it? Talking about the past, as we sometimes do, I stop and tell Jackie: “Wow, what an interesting life you have!” To which she replies, matching my enthusiasm: “I know, right?” Our kids are not victims. They have agency. The way we relate to…
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ARFO Cluj 2026
Preparations. Resources. Emotions. Artistic perspectives and the most wonderful people there are! Generous beyond belief. Stories & tears. Processing. I’ve been busy organizing and promoting this event, to which Jackie says: “I like your life!” First: it was an off hand coment, but she only speaks what she means. And this beautiful information slipped her…
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Question about grieving
Could I please ask…where do you think your girls are on their journey at this point? Are there particular area where they struggle in terms of loss or grieving? How about you? Conrad? How do you both feel about the idea of children grieving? Or maybe your own grief? — Hi Nathan. We are doing…
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Letter from Jackie
…It’s better than the most loving eulogy. And I am still around to enjoy it, and let it fill me with hope and delight. I absolutely love Jackie’s mind and heart and teachable posture. She is stubborn but clearly within her rights. Not an inch overbearing. She is reserved with most other people. Observant…
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19 years of marriage
Some things never changed. I still find Conrad funny & attractive. I still feel beautiful in his eyes. We’ve made it through deep valleys & over high peaks. We held on tight when things were hard & confusing. We dug deep when we couldn’t see a purpose, when we felt depleted or hopeless. If we…
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Moștenire
Scrisoare către fiicele mele (2021) My legacy – to see you! Truly see you. Different. In your splendor. Beautiful. As God created you to be. Să te văd, Jaclyn. Să te văd, Evelyn. Sa te ascult cu o curiozitate proaspăta, iar tu la rândul tai sa vezi, sa simți, sa Asculți la fel. Sa te…
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Teen prayer & budding romance
A decade ago she would cling onto me to stay a little longer. After the bedtime stories, we would pray and then she would ask questions. Sometimes the questions were triggered by the prayer. But mostly we would unpack the day. And we would talk. There were many times I longed to escape. To go…
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Philotic link
This may have helped my daughter overcome incredible emotional and spiritual, social and intelectual hurdles. I lent her my strength without guardrails, without holding back. I actually let power pass through me – it was not my own power given to her. I have felt powerless at times, trying to help her and her hardening…
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Bored or engaged
Letting your kid burn through the stages of first romance is fascinating and gut-wrenching. But I remind myself that this is part of the learning process and her path is different than mine, and just as necessary for her. When young kids like each other they still have the freedom to express themselves, to discover…
