The thrill of acceleration, the speed and the movement. That is the visible and enjoyable purpose of a car. But the breaks are a necessary & good as well. To be in working order. Responsive.
The emotional connection is real. Sustained.
I wonder if they’ll regret having found such a great first love. These two teenagers are falling in love just as their hormones are firing on all cylinders.
I realized I can’t roll down in speed along my daughter. I need to be the wise person in her headset, telling her about the dangerous turns, and guiding her. Keeping my head cool, telling her my observations of him and observing her as well.
So, falling in love with another person of character, who does the leg work, who has it in their nature to grow and mature and who listens and develops social skills.
Will that be in their detriment as they will meet other potential partners? Will there be anybody raising up to what they saw in each other, even as young as they are. Or will this experience just set the bar way high?
—
Driving back from school I realized that, indirectly I have influence even over this boy, though we never interact. Relationship advice pours into Jackie’s open heart, and she heeds it. Circumspect. Pushing back on some. Accepting some.
Still. I don’t know a lot about teenage love. I’m not an expert of how to be a girlfriend, but I know how to be a self assured young woman, with agency and confidence and ease of heart, looking back at my past.
Owning my contribution, my emotions, actions, with honesty & kindness, this is what I’m passing on.
Staying level headed even as their relationship runs its course, and not taking it personal when he messes up, or she messes up, when they speak out of turn or misjudge the situation, or the other person’s reaction & feelings. That’s my purpose, my role.
May they stay present, real, honest, teachable. May they enjoy the thrill of the ride while cautiously using the breaks as the road twists & turns, so they can stay on it. Unscathed. Maybe shaken at times but ultimately unscathed.