Category: teenage stuff
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“oh-wow” the 4 stages of 2026 for J
The best season yet. I catch the drifts, the disconnection, and reconnect easily. We don’t take it personally, and we trust the deep love we share. Is it hard or easy to believe that I have disappointed & frustrated this daughter of mine plenty throughout the last decade? I loved her well and with clear…
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tagging along
Sometimes I think my daughter can compartmentalize better than me. She probably can, as she has fewer boxes to sort. There is this sweet spot of nearly teen, where loyalty and attraction and simplicity meet. Of all the people who expressed an interest in her, she likes only one, in a very nonchalant, relaxed way.…
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Be curious
When she comes to me wide eyed, worrying that something is wrong with her feelings, I smile and tell her to slow down & observe her emotions. It may be my saving grace, to have this insatiable hunger to understand, and the difficult-to-manage feelings become tame, as I look at them with wide eyes and…
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End of school year
This school year was as we hoped it would be. Smooth coasting, even with Jackie’s afternoon classes, and a possibly hectic schedule. The individual time I had with each girl was awesome. And I had energy and attention. We set boundaries and we respected them. Jackie continued to play the clarinet at home, nearly daily.…
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Family hike
It is how we enjoy nature at a slow pace and let our minds unwind. It is how we connect, shoulder to shoulder, and we build endurance, physical and mental. I love the girls resilience and positive attitude even when it’s ridiculously hard to continue to put one foot in front of another. Conrad longs…
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Perception of self
An honest X-ray of the relationshipAwakened to what meets the eyeBeauty. Restraint. Lust.Not knowing quite what to do with this assault of imageryBeauty perceivedRushed into the brainMaking camp Small at first but taking over Teenage brain unguardedCurious and hungry Go back to simple thingsCars and superficial conversationsBasic knowledge of the otherDistance and rest She pushed…
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Average
“Coasting the average life. Made comfortable by the parents.” We function motivated by our own experiences and often times we overcompensate. I usually lay down the facts in front of us. Without judgement. Without trying to manipulate emotionally. – This is how the world was when I was a teen. This is how I adapted…
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Hospitable to teenage guests
How hard can it be? But also: how impactful? Go the extra mile. The extra 10 miles in Cluj traffic towards Floresti. I was not planning to be out for so long. I jumped in the car to go get their luggage so they can go to the mall, but there was a mixup of…
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Letter from Jackie
…It’s better than the most loving eulogy. And I am still around to enjoy it, and let it fill me with hope and delight. I absolutely love Jackie’s mind and heart and teachable posture. She is stubborn but clearly within her rights. Not an inch overbearing. She is reserved with most other people. Observant…
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Teen prayer & budding romance
A decade ago she would cling onto me to stay a little longer. After the bedtime stories, we would pray and then she would ask questions. Sometimes the questions were triggered by the prayer. But mostly we would unpack the day. And we would talk. There were many times I longed to escape. To go…
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Low stakes
I’m impressed with j’s ability to navigate difficult conversations. She gets herself in sticky situations but just as graciously she comes out the other side stronger and wiser and clearer. As I occasionally make suggestions, after we chat for a long time, I tell her she is free to make her own decision. The stakes…
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Tag! You’re it!
I noticed how j interacts with the boy she likes. Similar to how she relates to Conrad. She is sarcastic, and bossy and uninterested. I wonder if it’s a subconscious thing. For the last 3 years we have had many girly talks, and I am afraid I have inspired them to be feminists through and…