Some things never changed. I still find Conrad funny & attractive. I still feel beautiful in his eyes.
We’ve made it through deep valleys & over high peaks. We held on tight when things were hard & confusing. We dug deep when we couldn’t see a purpose, when we felt depleted or hopeless. If we didn’t have strong values, and a belief in something bigger than either of us, we would have drifted away. Giving up can seem easy in the moment, but if you have perspective, about what that would imply, the damage, the pain the loss …
People change, but they can choose to change together, wait up or pull the other gently. Challenge and share. Comunicate clearly and let time heal.
I have questioned my life’s choices after big prolonged storms. Not in the thick of it. Not when there were distressing diagnosis & painful treatments, or when the kids were particularly difficult. Not even when others have shamelessly flirted with him or me. It was in the dull drums of mundane work, when one starts to suspect the other of laziness, of disinterest. Of letting the other do most of the work. As one perceives it. It may not be true. It may be a necessary season of slow starts. But both ought to clearly decide & comit for the marriage to overcome & thrive. And if there was not a stated faith… well, that would be a wild impossible ride.
I think I like this milestone of 19 better than any round number. I am grateful for what we share & how he makes me feel. Beautiful and well loved.
— something I wrote two years ago —
Because perfectionism kills, we strive to be good enough. Good enough parents, good enough spouses, good enough employees, good enough daughters and sons. But don’t mistake good enough for settling, for lowering the bar.
Right before I met my husband I thought I might never marry because I was determined to not settle. A bit dramatic at 22.
Then, when we met, we couldn’t believe how lucky we were to have found each other. He never ceased to express his awe and gratitude for how great I am. He helped me see myself through his eyes. And I also couldn’t believe how good he is, kind, true, gracious, honest, teachable, humble, and incredibly creative…
We are flawed. We make mistakes and we try and repair. We err and we strive to do better.
We belong together through sickness and health, through richer and poor, for better or worse.
I remember how being with him felt like home. Safe. Seen. Loved and admired. He was brave enough to express how he felt.
We were unattached at 22, expecting great things, not in a state of suspended animation, but while living life as it was. Making the best of what we had.
Today we still hold hands and he still thinks I hung the moon. 🌙