Cathartic journaling of an adoptive mom.
Latest Posts
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About faith as teens
You are prickly when you feel that others expect or demand more of you than you are willing to give. It’s a defense mechanism – a gut reaction. And surprise-surprise: it’s healthy. If you would tone it down before you figure out why you feel this way, you may miss out on an important lesson…
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Trust
Ivy didn’t know what color group to join on the first day of Vbs. Because I didn’t have access to whatsapp where that information was shared. It ls such an experiment- flying dark. On one hand I felt that this is a kind of test. Can I take a break from the hubbub? Can I…
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Meta Identity
It’s easy to talk about identity from a safe place. At the age where I felt that who I am is settled and clear. Small adjustments can be made and are welcomed, but for the most part I stand on solid ground and I can see forever with clarity. Well, this year I have been…
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not in vain
I second guess myself sometimes, and I wonder if kids hear or listen to what I say. This week Jackie was telling mom & I about her conversation with someone she cares deeply about, and how she was encouraging them to reframe their identity on a lasting foundation, not temporary objects, or what other people…
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Broken mirror
My daughter is more important than a broken glassYou are more important than a giftYour relationship is more important than a moment of inattentive mistake You hug her every time you see her nowBecause it makes you happyIt fills you with joy But as she pulled her phone from the pocketAnd dropped the heart shaped…
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jurnal despre adolescenți
Uneori am impresia ca se iau prea in serios. Se grăbesc. Și pun frâna sacadat. Bruscat. Se sperie de propriile trăiri și de ritmul propriu sau al celuilalt. Nicicum nu-i bine. Nici să le dau apă la moară. Nici să faci baraj. Uneori îmi doresc să poată face o pauză natural, amândoi în același gând,…
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Not looking for approval
Clear headed, even as I listen to her heartAnd have the courage to pray dangerous prayersMay God take away even good thingsTo make room for the right thingsThe greatest things. I sensed myself loosing my bearingsImmersing myself into her love storyHer new interest – the sweet innocent targetThat could easily turn upside downWhen one would…
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sweet target
I’m aware oh how crazy it sounds when my daughter talks about having a boyfriend just as she steps into her teens. She is too young.There are two options as I see it: I either create the context where she can talk to me about her feelings, the stir of new emotions, or force her…
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about the 4 impressions
Right before my period, I feel things differently. I usually go a few notches down in self-confidence. I second guess myself. I mean it’s more like doubt, even as I lean into it as an embrace of a humble sprit. Humility never hurt. It was familiar and comfortable and protective. This month I have explored…
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Midsummer
Today mom & dad arrive for their summer visit. The house is prepared. Food shopping done. My favorite part this year was that the girls participated actively in thoroughly cleaning the bathrooms, we used the big vacuum, dusted the bookshelves, prepared the bed. Our hearts and minds are ready. There is going to be rain.…
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poem about fear
I observe in a new contextYour biggest fear.I didn’t know it before. We’ve talked about anything and everythingWe named our fearsSince you were three. We confronted themAnd nothing held you backNothing burdened you. Not that fear didn’t existWe just had a system to walk through itWhatever it might be. But in your first love,Though he…
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To belong is to free the mind
After what felt like a very long time of showing up, holding up, I started to lose my grip on life, reality, and what matters most. We survived multiple crises, and I kept it together, we kept it together I guess. But my vision got blurry and it felt like he is coming short on…
