Cathartic journaling of an adoptive mom.
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Be curious
When she comes to me wide eyed, worrying that something is wrong with her feelings, I smile and tell her to slow down & observe her emotions. It may be my saving grace, to have this insatiable hunger to understand, and the difficult-to-manage feelings become tame, as I look at them with wide eyes and…
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End of school year
This school year was as we hoped it would be. Smooth coasting, even with Jackie’s afternoon classes, and a possibly hectic schedule. The individual time I had with each girl was awesome. And I had energy and attention. We set boundaries and we respected them. Jackie continued to play the clarinet at home, nearly daily.…
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Projected belief
Kids become what we believe about them. So the challenge is adjusting our belief and our approach, to shape their character, their behavior, their self awareness. When my kids were annoying, I stopped to notice what exactly bothered me, whether I was the problem, or if I could help shape their behavior. I believed it’s…
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Little humans in our likeness
I did not give birth to my children, but with every conversation and day spent together, we shape their character, values and competence. They accuse me of bias when I use overwhelming words of affirmation, and I praise them, or acknowledge how wonderful they are. But I never say things I don’t mean. Kind words…
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Family hike
It is how we enjoy nature at a slow pace and let our minds unwind. It is how we connect, shoulder to shoulder, and we build endurance, physical and mental. I love the girls resilience and positive attitude even when it’s ridiculously hard to continue to put one foot in front of another. Conrad longs…
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Perception of self
An honest X-ray of the relationshipAwakened to what meets the eyeBeauty. Restraint. Lust.Not knowing quite what to do with this assault of imageryBeauty perceivedRushed into the brainMaking camp Small at first but taking over Teenage brain unguardedCurious and hungry Go back to simple thingsCars and superficial conversationsBasic knowledge of the otherDistance and rest She pushed…
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Average
“Coasting the average life. Made comfortable by the parents.” We function motivated by our own experiences and often times we overcompensate. I usually lay down the facts in front of us. Without judgement. Without trying to manipulate emotionally. – This is how the world was when I was a teen. This is how I adapted…
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International couples
We are low-key people. Approachable as I like to believe. To our delight we discovered that so is the first international couple from our two churches. Our paths crossed many times, even when we lived in California, and they lived in Romania. Now their kids became adults. Brilliant young women. And we traded places. We…
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Hospitable to teenage guests
How hard can it be? But also: how impactful? Go the extra mile. The extra 10 miles in Cluj traffic towards Floresti. I was not planning to be out for so long. I jumped in the car to go get their luggage so they can go to the mall, but there was a mixup of…
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Words & confidence
Can you fabricate self-confidence? And if you could, would you do it? Talking about the past, as we sometimes do, I stop and tell Jackie: “Wow, what an interesting life you have!” To which she replies, matching my enthusiasm: “I know, right?” Our kids are not victims. They have agency. The way we relate to…
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ARFO Cluj 2026
Preparations. Resources. Emotions. Artistic perspectives and the most wonderful people there are! Generous beyond belief. Stories & tears. Processing. I’ve been busy organizing and promoting this event, to which Jackie says: “I like your life!” First: it was an off hand coment, but she only speaks what she means. And this beautiful information slipped her…
