It’s easy to talk about identity from a safe place. At the age where I felt that who I am is settled and clear. Small adjustments can be made and are welcomed, but for the most part I stand on solid ground and I can see forever with clarity.
Well, this year I have been revving my engine into fame, giving interviews, having planned or impromptu public speeches, interviewing others. Anyway, I feel comfortable enough to be coherent even if I didn’t have time to think about what I will say.
Brian just called me a powerful influencer, and while I didn’t seek that name, I walked into it willingly. Overnight though, because of two pages I manage on Facebook, which I should have deleted since they didn’t do much anymore, I lost access to my Facebook account, as I flagged some suspicious activity and attempts to log in. Because everything is connected, from facebook, I lost access to my instagram and my whatsapp. I could have deleted the social media accounts myself, happily. I considered it but I put it off. And since the communication app was purchased by Meta, the company that owns Facebook, everything fell in domino effect. And I lost my account to chat with all the groups I am part of.
That is the biggest problem as I see it. I got used to it, though I often dreaded it as well. I wish at times I could just go dark, be inaccessible, and enjoy peace and quiet. I feel the pull to stay connected and present because of my community and kids.
I still feel as wild sense of peace that surpasses all understanding. As if this thing will work for the good of my mind, soul, life, and it will turn out it is not a bad thing to be kicked out of whatsapp. As unfair and sudden and powerless it feels. I don’t want to go back in unless it is them unlocking my account. But as I see it, there is little hope for that. AI is responding to all my inquiries and it looks like my account won’t be reinstated. Good riddance I say.
But who am I if I can’t communicate with friends, with the women I serve, with the classes I’m part of? Is my value any less if I can’t be easily accessible ?Will I frustrate others because I won’t respond to their messages? But what can I do realistically to change any of these circumstances?
I am very clear in my heart that my identity is not tied to Meta, or how accessible I am to people. I actually like my anonymity and I would not trade it for any amount of money or good fame.
My mind this morning, as I went to church oscillated between relief and a bit of headache. Relief and clear mindedness as I don’t feel the tug of my phone anymore. But the headache is for the fact that I am on the verge of a new beginning, leaving something behind, I don’t know what. Maybe certain memories, nearly two decades of Facebook access. Over a decade of whatsapp. The AI revolution is complicating all customers service or human intervention to sort an account like mine. And I don’t think I want to be accepted back in. My last tie to Meta is my instagram account. For now. I have left behind email accounts and I had to adjust, change usernames and passwords and resettle and refocus my life. Just like when I got married and changed my name. That was another reset I gladly did. Moving from a country to another. I actually love change when I’m ready to embrace it.
So who am I, if not easily accessible? Influencing the public opinion about adoption, community, faith? What about integrity and inclusion?
I am who I am. Private and at ease. Quiet and a thinker. I am present in my life, with my kids, with the live relationships I have. Not online. But real. Smaller scale. Maybe I’ll read and write more in this last month of summer.
How bizare that this might be my blessing in disguise.