I observe in a new context
Your biggest fear.
I didn’t know it before.
We’ve talked about anything and everything
We named our fears
Since you were three.
We confronted them
And nothing held you back
Nothing burdened you.
Not that fear didn’t exist
We just had a system to walk through it
Whatever it might be.
But in your first love,
Though he is completely
and utterly smitten with you,
And he expresses his love so freely
Generously to a fault,
Makes himself vulnerable
And shares without holding back
His admiration and commitment
You don’t fear abandonment
But you fear replacement.
Isn’t that interesting?
People talk about abandonment issues
But your confidence is real and solid
Nothing seems to shake you off your path
Except imagining him telling another
the same sweet words. And it infuriates you.
Living in the future is not healthy.
You don’t know what will happen
And he assures you of his forever commitment
I think he is naive a bit
But so sweet in his complete trust in his feelings for you
Only sometimes he gets scared also
That you are bored of him
And leave him
Because you don’t overshare,
You don’t express your happiness in excess,
your delight in him is peaceful and calm.
It just is.
For you it’s easy.
Trust is innate.
Resting easy.
No need for verbal reassurance
You are teaching him to believe you
To trust you
When you declare things with such poise
“He is the greatest boy
You are honored to be his girlfriend”
What teenager talks like that?
I love your personality
eloquence
And adaptability
Your elegance and silliness
Your desire to grow
And to be steady
A good friend.
A wonderful companion.
May you face your fear
And understand that it is a possibility
But not the way you envision it.
You are irreplaceable
One of a kind.
And if you are not what he is looking for
There is no need to convince him otherwise.
You are delightful and beautiful and incredible.
And life is to be lived one day at a time.