My daughter is more important than a broken glass
You are more important than a gift
Your relationship is more important than a moment of inattentive mistake
You hug her every time you see her now
Because it makes you happy
It fills you with joy
But as she pulled her phone from the pocket
And dropped the heart shaped mirror
You brought from Malta
Two small cracks appeared on the inside of one of mirrors.
And she was mortified.
The gift you brought her
She broke the heart you gave her
Not yours per se, the one in your chest,
But the one you chose to give to her
A glass gift,
Fragile.
A mirror meant to be carried in a purse
To reflect her smile or eyes…
I get it. It felt like she didn’t treasure it,
But it was an honest mistake.
You were disappointed.
And you are still a kid,
Putting too much stock in objects
And instead of reassuring her
You let her sit with her guilt and shame
You could have hugged her then
And told her it’s ok
You still love her
And she is more important than the mirror.
Instead you both went home
And she was left distraught
To pick up the pieces
Of disappointing you
Another lost night
A sleepless night to wrestle with…
She is strong
But has no guardrails
And my heart broke for her
I had her say good night and turn off her phone
So we could talk
So I could remind her she is important
More so than your stupid gift
And how you handled this mistake of hers
Says more about you than her
She was broken
And you waited for her to pull herself together.
But I’m glad I was here to see it
and to be her voice of reason
I hope she will remember how to handle a broken mirror next time
And notice the two voices
the two options:
Beat herself up
Or dust herself off and rise.
Oh, your own experiences with mistakes
With broken treasures
Will spill onto the relationship
Hug her next time
And tell her she is ok
She is safe and she is still loved
objects come & go
But she is more important
than any fragile thing
And as are you.
I get it now
Why she was reluctant to accept any gift from you for a long time
Don’t make any attention you give her
About you
Don’t expect anything in return
Don’t ask for it back
Don’t put undue pressure on her to never break or lose it
This incident made me want to hide my daughter from you
Like the times you didn’t show up
Our values clash
Our word is important,
our yes is yes
…Your yes is maybe
And we were both confused
By your initiative and change of heart
I know now too much about you
And while you are great
You are also dangerous
With lots of growing up to do
But you hold my daughter’s heart
in your hand
And she is fragile.
I know you are fragile too
But I fear that in order to continue to grow
Both of you
You will need to give each other space
And distance will heal and will allow the sun to come through
Without fear of judgement
The mirror now reflects the reality
Of a broken heart
And broken perspective
A crack that heals or reminds her how you handle disappointment
So she wouldn’t lose her mind over you
Over a broken glass
Over an honest mistake