processing a season of war

This intense season feels familiar. My mommy brain has been training for such a time as this.

Have you ever filled balloons with air, the classic way? I was terrified that if I blew too much air the balloon will pop in my face. It has happened once or twice. But as I see and feel the stress all around me, a familiar stress, I take a deep breath and I take one day at a time. The kids and their structured schedule give me a sense of healthy rhythm even through my days are filled to the brim. And yet, there is still time here and there, to do a little more. Some things are postponed, but moth things prioritize naturally.

Conrad feels uneasy to share anything related to our activities with the refugees. We try to help where we can, without adding overwhelming work to coordinators. It is wonderful that the world is filled with willing supporters and there are many generous people, generous with their resources, be that money, time our useful objects (cars, rooms). It is paramount that we exercise restrained and use our wisdom to work smart not just hard. This is a marathon. We feel our most passionate friends are close to burnout already. You can’t drive hours on end, cook food non-stop, be on the phone to coordinate the transit by plane, car, bus, train… and not have time set aside to rest. I’m not talking only about sleep. One needs to lift their eyes up and look to the sky or into the eyes of their children or wife, savor slowly a good meal, play, watch a movie…

It is heartbreaking, to witness the pain of our friends, brothers and sisters. We don’t fully understand and I hope we never experience such devastating feelings of loss, fear, trauma. We crossed paths with some families of refugees. They were all deaf and mute. I don’t understand this coincidence but it so happens that busses loaded with deaf and mute families come to Cluj. They are functional members of society. Understanding their circumstances is beyond me yet. I’d love to know more. Anyway, I realize that the only reason these families are together, fathers and mothers with their kids, it’s because deafness is a strong enough reason for a man not to fight in the war.

There is also a dramatic and evident difference between the women traveling with their kids, separated by their husbands, who know God and are part of a community and have a hope beyond this world, and those who don’t know God.

Maybe camilla and I, with our full, overflowing schedule, will still take time to process in the moment, via a structured podcast, the current events. What we witness. How it’s perceived by our community, society, churches. May we prevail. It would be really cool and valuable over time!