Toxic stress

The reason kids from difficult places have special emotional needs that affect sometimes their ability to learn, is because early on their brain was flooded to stress hormones. And there was nobody to console them, to help them feel safe. To meet their needs, to offer warmth, and nourishment and rest. 

Many adoptive families believe that adopting a child right after birth, they avoid trauma. But a child doesn’t need to be verbal to remember their experiences, even in utero.

My friend is hosting a mother in Oradea. She fled from war with her two kids who are 2 and 3 years old, while being 9 months pregnant. Fueled by adrenaline she walked 10 miles with her two toddlers. As soon as she got to safety she gave birth to her youngest son. Her husband was kept behind in Ukraine to defend the country. What a nightmare to walk in freezing temperatures with two tired kids barely walking and ready to give birth. What strength motivated her to bring her children to safety. But the trauma they all endured is barely buried beneath the thin layer of relief and rest. May we have wisdom to listen, to hear and understand, to allow our friends to process their trauma. The wounds are open but the scars are going to be long lasting and deep. Lord have mercy!