My youngest demonstrates early critical thinking. She questions questionable matters.
The other day she was convinced that the Alias board can unfold once more. Most board games in Austin were larger. We hasn’t played this one in two months. She kept trying to peel off to unfold it further. We told her this one is just this big. She was DETERMINED we were wrong and she was right. It made us laugh. “What if this is fully open as you see it?” – “then I will be wrong!” She says. “I just don’t want to break it to prove a point”. As she realized she was wrong she burst into tears. Accepting defeat is difficult for any age.
I think her distrust can be harmful from a point on. I mean, there needs to be a safe platform where she can plant both feet and where from she can challenge most everything else. And when times comes, she can step off that said platform (family, faith) and question those too, as necessary. But at every one point, everyone one needs a strong foundation to stand on. We use our intuition, the god given gift of family who makes us feel safe, our social context, extended family, a good teacher who exudes love and trust. Whatever.
I guess is a sign of confidence and deeper trust when she debates basic things, be that to understand them, or to expert her self confidence in what she believes. When I was her age I figured out that adults are as smart or insightful as they pretend to be. They didn’t believe I understood so well. I made me feel powerful. I knew something they didn’t. And they underestimated me. But I didn’t feel the need to show them off. It was good enough for me to be in on this truth, and use the wild card of insightfulness to my advantage at the right time. I did grow up with peoples no or low expectations and I loved doing my own thing in my own timing. I’m a sucker for rising to the occasion when people need me. But as an adult this can be a trap. Some people have developed a dependency and as they smell the sense of responsibility in others and take full advantage of it. When someone says: “I need you” how does it make you feel? Important, needed? Can you say no? Can you discern real need from neediness?
Anyway, question everything. Trust some foundation. Figure out what that is.
I strive to point my kids to God, witness with my faith, empower them with the freedom of choice, of belief, agency. God gave us freedom, to his detriment. Didn’t manipulate. Didn’t insist. It’s the greatest gift, and choosing Him within this freedom is the true power and demonstration of faith and love.
Winds blows, left and right. The world changes. People change. Circumstances change. What is our strong foothold? I will be questioned. But I won’t pretend to be something I’m not, someone I’m not. My goal in life is to influence strong independent women, to figure out who they are in the context of their life. To the best of my ability, so far so good, as I look back I feel I’ve done my very best.