Cathartic journaling of an adoptive mom.
Latest Posts
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Traveling, changing and openness
When someone leans in to receive your story, to listen to your heart, they make room for richness and blessings. How often do we keep silent because there is nobody willing to slow down and look at us openly? I am reminded lately of the power of vulnerability. The seeds planted over time, the people…
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Do you trust me?
I asked my dad, when I borrowed the car to drive mama to church one Sunday morning. He was reluctant to give me the keys. I had just gotten my license. The way to church was a straight shot, and I used to take that route with my driving instructor all the time. He always…
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Birthdays
Slaves to fitting in, to the routine of birthdays, to one-up the year before. Simplifying takes a lot of energy. Definitely, I grew up with family birthdays, where the nicest thing was getting a cake from the cake store. I also remember birthdays being emotionally charged, as spirits were tense, and things came up. I…
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Raw
This last month, cleaning away the dirt, the dust, the unnecessary crud, I felt light, and present, and clear. But this nakedness of mind and of soul brings on a raw sensitivity to light, to pain, to hope and reality. I have a vivid imagination when it comes to danger. I always did. But I’ve…
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Conversation about sweets
Bye! I’m going to Bunica downstairs. Don’t come after me. I’ll return home at the perfect hour for lunch. Jackie, I have one request. No sweets today. Not even one bite. Yesterday you had chocolate and candy. Not one taste today. Ok. If Bunica offers, I’ll say “I’m not eating nothing!” Off she goes and…
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New chapters
A few months ago I started praying that God would show me clearly where He wants me. Because, as it stands, I don’t know. And I feel a burning desire to do more. What makes me come alive? – a good old question I stumbled upon in an old blog. I don’t want to waste…
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The power of vulnerability with preteens
Last year we joined a wide age range kids camp. It’s was chaotic. Much like our classic community, Tohu vabohu. Formless as it was before God brought order into the world. The adults were caught off guard, without clear boundaries in such a diverse social setting. And we left the camp last year as if…
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Conversation with a 5 year old while hiking
Jackie, there are consequences to your defiance and disrespect. You are old enough to reason with, so [for disobedience, lying or disrespect] we start taking away privileges: like the occasional cartoons or games, shopping sprees, sleepovers, sweets, independent play outside. I’m trying to teach you what’s good, and how to distinguish it from the bad. …
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Standing out
I had just transferred to an elite high school. The teachers were sharp and ruthless. The first year is a very humbling experience for anyone. And apparently this strategy worked for them. My 1st to 4th grade teacher, in his rough style, unpredictable, impatient and unkind, taught me to not rely on teacher approval. 8th…
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Screens and addiction
That awkwardness when someone pulls out their phone and you sit like a dumb next to them. Resisting. A decade and a half ago I was that person. An introvert. I had bought an iPod nano after my summer in Silicon Valley, and as I came back to college, I would listen to music a…
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It’s Monday
Prayer warriors, join me. The battle is on. This week, the much awaited file is opened by the case manager, for review, for completion. I pray for a willing heart. Not a slighted one. I pray for open doors of their own. To find the people they need, to get the answers they’ve been waiting…
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integrity
When you live a life of integrityDon’t expect recognitionDon’t expect applause.But be ready to stand alone. When you speak upFor the orphansExpect rebukeAnd prepare for the mocking. To recognize The right side up Quiet your spiritAnd close your eyes. Find your balance.Listen to God’s whisper. As elbows will poke youAnd hands will shoveFeet will kickAnd the rebuke…
