Cathartic journaling of an adoptive mom.
Latest Posts
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O viață. Dragoste, Respect și Adevăr.
Am aflat doar la sfârșit că Dana e mama unei femei care m-a mișcat profund prin iubirea și lumina exprimată în durerea văduviei. Dar nu despre asta a fost astăzi. Astazi ne-a fost reamintit neapologetic despre cât de provocatoare și încercată e căsnicia, mai ales în perioada preșcolară a copiilor. Ca să știm lupta efectiv,…
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Gaining control through letting go
It was a long day at kindergarten, as kids waited in the adjacent room during the parents-teacher conference at the end of the day. They were happy together. Lately they don’t want to say goodbye to each other. The twin boys kept saying that Jackie is coming home with them. Jackie has developed a steady…
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Be.
How many times have we heard someone tell us to be a certain way. To be something. To be someone. Be good! Be tough! Be a man! Be a nice girl! Be a woman! It is such an affront to our being. Even with the best intentions, the subliminal message is that we are not…
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The concept of money
Jackie is settling well into her age of five. There are bursts of energy and intelligence, of growth and exploration. We don’t do anything in particular to help her grow. We just create contexts, allow her freedom, we tease her with knowledge, leading by example. She started experimenting more and more. In the moment; it’s…
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Attachment
Not long ago, in the job description of the state employees who cared for orphans said to not get attached, and to not let the children get attached to them either. If the state employee disobeyed the written law and did what their heart moved them to do, that’s when they truly served the the…
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Adoption statistics
The extremely low percentage of adoptable kids among the institutionalized (1.5%) suggests a worrisome practice to maintain the kids in the system with the non-adoptable status. In 2016 the adoption law was amended. On paper much of it has improved, but the implementation of the changes is terribly slow. This is a huge machine familiar…
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Friday swimming
For a few years I haven’t felt the importance of Friday. But since Jackie, since we got (re)acquainted with kindergarten, I feel again the joy and the burden of the end of the week. Parents know why. Today I took Jackie out earlier from kindergarten and we went swimming. Instead of her taking a nap…
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Vineri la înot
De câțiva ani n-am mai simțit importanța zilei de vineri. Dar de-o vreme, de când există grădiniță, simt din nou bucuria și povara sfarșitului de săptămână. Părinții știu de ce. Azi am luat-o pe Jaclyn mai devreme de la gradiniță, și am mers la înot. În loc să doarmă, noi am înotat împreună, ca două…
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Penultima vizită post-adopție
Trăim cu impresia că fetița noastră de cinci ani știe. Chiar deunăzi am vorbit despre asta. Despre faptul că nu a crescut în pântecele meu. Își amintește chiar numele mic (foarte comun) al mamei biologice. I l-am spus acum doi ani, când ne-a luat prin suprindere cu întrebarea, în timp ce conduceam. În plus, m-a…
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Cuvinte și siguranță
E sâmbătă și târziu. Conrad se apucă să spele vasele după cină. Jackie tot printre picioarele noastre, ca și Rufus de altfel. Bucătăria deodata pare neîncăpătoare. Conrad o roagă pe Jackie să meargă în cameră. Ea zice Nu. “Stau aici.” Pe un ton răstit Conrad îi strigă numele. Rar reverberează așa baritonul lui. De altfel,…
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The valley of waiting
I’m walking through the valley. My vantage point is disadvantageous but I walk in faith. And I ponder. Is faith passive? Is it something I say to chalk-off my inability to cope with the unknown? Is it something I do when I have no plan and I feel stuck? Our liminal space. It’s bare. A…
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Our moral code
Twisting the reality feels powerful. In parallel it is also a creative process. What I want to share is about the natural consequences of (not) telling the truth. I’d venture to say that we’ve all tried it. Most of us lied at some point. Generally speaking, kids do it to get out of trouble. Adults…
