Cathartic journaling of an adoptive mom.
Latest Posts
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Proactive not reactive
We’re exhausted trying to catch up with our eldest daughter. She entered a new season of independence from us, of self awareness and curiosity about her strength and boundaries. And we’ve been playing catch-up, reacting to her mind boggling experiments. They make no sense. I don’t think there is a reasoning behind them. Ideas come…
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“Cine sunt eu?”
Am scris o carte ce va fi lansată în Ianuarie 2019. Am scris-o pentru Jackie, pentru noi, și in final pentru oricine vrea să pășească în lumea adopției, sau este deja acolo. În adevăr, cartea a fost inspirată de întalnirile lunare de anul acesta – 2018, într-un grup de suport post adopție. Am auzit atâtea…
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Love languages
While Evelyn is asleep, Jaclyn and I have the deepest conversations. She loves the philosophical chats. We’ve always connected talking. Hence our first book. Yesterday she asked about the book I’m reading now: “the five love languages”. We talked about each love language. And to my surprise, she recounted them all at the end. She…
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Prayer and people
How can a simple get together shift my perspective so much. We were 6 adults and 6 kids on a very generous back yard lawn. A few cats, a dog and toys. There was pizza and there were caveats of silence. All of us weigh our thoughts and words, our questions and curiosities. We find…
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Balm for the soul
We don’t lay such a heavy burden on our youngest daughter. Like a summer cool breeze, she rustles among us, with grace, love, kindness. Where does it all come from? How can she bless us more that we bless her? She’s been home full time for three weeks now. She verbalizes her adoption. Talks about…
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Dentist
We walk to the funky shaped rooftop building – The dentist office. We arrive 5 minutes early, as usual. Ivy is a chipper as ever. How wonderful for a follow up dentist appointment. Little did I know… Ivy had a black hole of premolar. Ever growing. All that Nutella for breakfast or desert after dinner.…
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Our first trip to the mountains
So many times we felt her absence. Even before we decided in earnest to adopt again, I wondered who are we having fun without. A strange yet vivid feeling. After two intense weeks of appointments and exhausting change, worry and noise, hard work and tears, Friday we decided to go to the mountains on a…
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Precious Jewels
“Lift up your eyes and look around; all your children gather and come to you. As surely as I live,” declares the Lord, “you will wear them all as ornaments; you will put them on, like a bride.”— Isaiah 49:18 God lives.I lift my eyes upAnd see the sun riseThe mountains bowtheir tallest peaks A…
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Worry grounded and lessened with facts
This morning I went on a trail of calls, to figure out where to make a pediatric orthopedic appointment. The COVID pandemic has caused chaos in the system. Surprisingly though, we managed to easily book an appointment today (a new necessary step in visiting any hospital given the pandemic) we arrived on time and saw…
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I dream of death
Jackie dreams of death.Her death. Our death. We carry heavy burdensOf painful changeOf life and love. There is sicknessto be dealt withAnd as I sit in the dentist chairUpholding my youngestShe is braveAnd sits still through the procedure She bonds with meAs I help herTo undergo the dental work Somehow she knowsIf for her long…
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Worry
Interesting trend. I feel overwhelmed. Pessimistic. I worry about the girls, their health. This week we had appointments every day. Monday the general practitioner, Tuesday the social worker visit, Wednesday the dentist, Thursday we go see an orthopedic specialist. Jackie appears to develop scoliosis, ivy’s ribcage is oddly shaped. This is a known issue, due…
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Every day is good and hard
She had a happy cheerful day today. We had visitors for pancakes. Visitors with kids. Friends well loved by both girls. We also had our visit from the State adoption agency. It was peaceful and friendly and low key. The same social worker evaluated us after we adopted Jaclyn. Ivy was a little more apprehensive.…
