I’m not a risk taker. This is why I’m not the most proficient business developer. I like to serve, and I lead by necessity. 

As a kid, as the youngest and as a girl, I assumed complete contentment and happiness with less. Less than my brother. Hand-me-downs. I’m not competitive. 

But I’ve made many good decisions in my life. Some I dare say quite adventurous and risky. But I never saw them as such them. I always spend what I have or less, to make sure the unexpected expenses are covered. I try to be discreet in my own house. And never a burden. 

I am faced with the possibility of expanding into a duplex. I can see myself there. But I would never do it for my own comfort and luxury. My family grew. And we definitely need more space. And after 4 years of sharing a room with our eldest daughter, even if at different levels so more privacy, I think it’s starting to take a toll on us. Maybe it’s the pandemic. Maybe the girls need more space for homework and play time. Conrad needs an office and I need a room to close the door behind me. To work. To write. To pray. To rest. 

The questions that rush through my mind are: is this the best place? Is this the best value for our money? Do we have enough money? Is it the right time to invest? Will we have enough money to finish it? Will the cost of living increase as we move in there? Will we need to get full time jobs? 

The clear reminder that we need more space is that if another sibling appears we will probably say yes to adopting him or her. But this apartment can’t host us all. 

I know we have family who would not let us be destitute. If we keep this apartment it may become our income revenue and that is very encouraging. 

Moving into the duplex would allow for family to visit and be comfortable. 

What is the worse that could happen?  

When we’ll look back I’m pretty certain we will be shocked it took us so long to make the move. 

What sign to I need to make the decision? The constructor to accept our lower offer. For the stock to be at a reasonable level when we sell half of it. 

I pray for wisdom. And I think of a few encouraging things I heard last weekend. The material things are inconsequential to God. He is generous and walks ahead of us. He give us good things. We only ought to ask. But if we live for heaven, why do I feel so burdened by this subject of expanding? I am grateful for having children because it motivates me to move ahead, to evolve, to expand. And the thought that we are expanding our tent to care for orphans, as God mandates it, if we follow his lead, we listen to His calling, then there is nothing to fear. 

Bless us father. And lead the way. Open door and call us through. Amin.