Cathartic journaling of an adoptive mom.
Latest Posts
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A si A’ poem de mama
In primul sezon rolul de mama m-a împlinit M-a înflorit. A dat roade. Mi-a dat un scop. Un loc. O bucurie nespus de mare. Acum, In alt sezon Același rol de mama ma frânge. Ma zdrobește. Stoarce din mine tot mustul Macină grâul, pana la ultimul fir Sa poata pregăti pâine Împărtășirea. Ma țin cu…
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Parent meltdowns
In April, I had a meltdown. The girls wanted to sleep at the grandparents and I reluctantly let them. I’m not sure why I was reluctant. Alas, I needed some time to myself. Why would I categorize my emotional guard down as meltdown? Because I sobbed and sobbed without worrying about who hears me. And…
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God sees me
The past few nights I woke up and couldn’t sleep for a few hours. Instead of worrying about stuff, I decided to pray. If I had no words to pray, I would meditate on God. At some point, it dawned on me that God sees me. God knows how I feel, and there is no…
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Let us not forget
Our purpose in our children’s lives. To see the best in themTo envision their best version. To build them upTo polish gentlyAnd let them see and feel our extravagant love. When we gently correct Or remind them the millionth time To not speak with food in the mouth Or to put away the dirty socks And it seems…
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Self-assurance
I started following this adoption account on instagram @theadoptionconnection and soon after, someone reached out to me with a personal note… Which was so unusually friendly and connecting. Today I decided to listen to this podcast and this adoptee who was adopted in the late 40s, in the era of adoption secrecy because nobody discussed…
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Rant in blocked care
Am I the only one who cares? When the floor is covered with a day’s clothes, mixed with toys, and books… and these are just the big items. Sprinkled between there are lego men and kinder egg toys. Every single day. I sort through the clean and dirty socks, I sort toys, I make beds,…
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blocked care
“If I feel this way, others must experience similar feelings.” I have this unconfirmed-by-facts sense of familiarity with the world around me. It has been a launching pad for courage: “If not me, then who?” I feel nervous or afraid, but the truth needs to be spoken or the action be taken, and I step…
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Hopeful
As I was getting ready for bed, I clicked and listened to this interview. I stumbled on this woman’s blog (Andreea) a few year ago, and it was so poignant, it moved me to tears every time I would read it. At some point I got to meet her mom share her story in an…
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Perspective
This is what most of us lack these days. You can’t will yourself into having genuine perspective. Sometimes you have to step out of your familiar surroundings and gain perspective. When Ivy talks over Jackie, Daddy uses the opportunity to impart the awareness of perspective. How does it feel when someone talks over you? Perspective…
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Burnout & hot chocolate
Burnout. I feel it all around me. Spread like wildfire. The burnout of life, the tedious day-in and day-out, of social distancing like a home arrest. We all used all our tricks to adapt, to survive and in some cases to thrive. We were not the most extravagant parents before, but we had our sense…
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Reset button
It was a cold Saturday. The air smelled like snow, through it is already April. At 1 PM we were scheduled to get our first dose of the vaccine. And at the same exact time we got a notification from Ikea that they are delivering some stuff, straight from Bucuresti. As luck would have it,…
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Transition while staying put
I like to complete projects. I have lived with loose ends for months now. And I noticed a tendency, to pick up new projects in a subconscious hope to complete some, any of them. My plate is overflowing, like a crazy lavish Thanksgiving dinner. And I keep piling on. And the salad doesn’t fit properly…
