Let us not forget

Our purpose in our children’s lives. 

To see the best in them
To envision their best version.

To build them up
To polish gently
And let them see and feel 
our extravagant love.

When we gently correct 
Or remind them the millionth time

To not speak with food in the mouth 
Or to put away the dirty socks 

And it seems we speak in vain
In one ear – Out the other 

When we let them make the small mistakes 
And they learn the lessons well 

The things we’ve said a million times
And they never heeded our advice
But it clicks when a peer says something 
Or a teacher…

Tonight we talked about owning our mistakes
Taking responsibility 
Not finding a scapegoat or an excuse.

We as parents decided to ask better questions:
Don’t ask “Who did this?” 
If you know who did it

Don’t test their courage to come forward
But connect to find out why they did what they did.
If you know they ate the candy
Don’t ask if they did. Ask (yourself and them) why

If you know they didn’t 
brush their teeth or 
made their bed or 
picked up the toys, 
Don’t ask if the did 
what they needed to do.
Ask if they’re now ready to do it.

I err on the firm side of parenting 
My buffer of patience and grace are both worn thin

So these are my reminders.

When I caught myself asking the wrong question:
“Who wiped their dirty hands on the white wall?”

It told jackie, verbatim
What’s music to a parents’ ears:

“It could have easily been my fault/doing/mistake.
It was probably me. I’m sorry.
I have no excuse. I take full responsibility.” 

My eldest is a master of extensive explanations
or shifting blame. 

It is home that she needs to train the courage muscle
to be honest and brave. 

It doesn’t come natural to many adults, including me. But I admire so much people who display selfless bravery and honesty. 

Integrity has been paramount in all my success as a young adult and beyond. 

I have to remember the end goal of parenting 
Empowering them to make good decisions for themselves 
And for a healthy dose of courage 
Accept and appreciate our lifelong connection 

Course correcting happens slow. 
God willing it will happen in due time. 
Our kids are His. Our gifts from Him. 
May we be good stewards of His gifts.