I like to complete projects. I have lived with loose ends for months now. And I noticed a tendency, to pick up new projects in a subconscious hope to complete some, any of them.

My plate is overflowing, like a crazy lavish Thanksgiving dinner. And I keep piling on. And the salad doesn’t fit properly anymore, within the plate boundaries.

I have no control over the things I delegated. The contractors are making actual progress on the house, after a couple of months of taking one step forward, and two backwards. Tiles had been put on the wall, and then taken back because they were slightly off. Three different tiling guys worked on our two bathrooms. They were supposed to be pretty straightforward. But it turned out to be more complicated than it needed to be. The floors were demolished and repiped, the tiles were brittle, and they cut too many small pieces as excess but the excess turned out to be a lot of square meters of tiles.

Buying and finishing a house was the least anticipated activity in my lifetime. Too many horror stories and stress. And I don’t like stress. This morning I remembered how I was challenged to delegate things to my team and trust they will do them, as in not micromanage and not stress about it. If only I had learned this lesson well enough the first time around when managing a pretty responsible and capable team. It’s a valuable lesson in managing contractors, as well as raising kids.

My plate is full. Overflowing. The reset button is rusty and practically invisible.

Today we are supposed to get the first shot and as luck would have it, the ikea order is being delivered at the exact same time. The driver called and mentioned he would come between 12 and 1. As I mentioned I would appreciate if he came early, he raised his voice at me over the phone, because he can’t control traffic and time.

We have no control over the world outside us. But the way we respond to our circumstances and make to break the day. I need to remember the Truth, and let go of the things that I can’t control. The wheels are in motion. The people we empowered to work for us do the best they can.

As some wise mom said: “anxiety is holding onto to a specific outcome instead of trusting God to bring things together in His perfect timing and way.”