Cathartic journaling of an adoptive mom.
Latest Posts
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About delight
The struggle is real. The monotony of life is getting to us all. I wonder how it caught up with us. Because for a while, we stayed ahead of the crashing wave. My sister-in-law mentioned something that clicked with me last week. She attended the funeral of a beloved uncle, the twin brother of her…
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Jackie – the precocious conversationalist
When Jackie gets more vocal in her defiance, and we’ve had a few instances lately, especially as she is so tired of her daily scolioses stretches, I have no impulse to push back. I sit down on the floor and I make room for thoughts to settle and get clear. Last night, as Jackie was…
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The cocoon
We met Ivy two weeks before the pandemic hit Romania. Who knew the first two weeks would be so precious, and out of the current ordinary. We treasure those times of kisses and snuggles without reserve or masks. I have faith that much will still change around the world. And Ivy will adapt, as this…
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A week of small breaks
Resting my mind. Relearning to take care of myself. Letting my parents step in, due to available circumstances. My youngest nephew spent some time at the grandparents during the work days, and taking care of him is easier when a little cousin is there to play with. I consciously protected the grandparents of the children…
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Growing pains
We all grow. In different ways. Parents and children, side by side. This week I set my decibel bar low. And it was a success from that point of view… though I myself cried more, it was definitely more cathartic. Last week I oscillated between deep sadness to hot furry. Disobedience. Exuberance. Disagreements. As I…
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Introspection shared
I always believed thatstepping into the lightis the first step into freedom.As we grow old,discerning the lightseems to be the hardest part of the process.And then harder yet, embracing vulnerability.The trick is that,once you submerse yourselfinto the grace of God,Facing the TruthLooking intentlyinto the mirror of God’s Wordconfessing and accept His forgiveness,the onlookers hold no…
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Isaiah 61 – garment of praise
I stayed with this beautiful text. And at first I heard nothing. I felt nothing. After reading it every day, for a few days, I woke up at night and I could finally articulate my thoughts. Here are my reflections. Thanks to the rabbi for making me sit with the text. My hardened heart and hardened…
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No joy or simply disconnected
I realized this week that all I felt was exhaustion. There was no joy left in my being a mom. I used to have easy reset strategies, reset of mind, of body, of mindset. Whatever reset I managed, didn’t last anymore. I was feeling pretty hopelessly sad. Then I had an interview with ARFO about…
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Jackie’s curiosity about annoyances
Mom, before you had kids, were you ever annoyed? Did you and dad annoy each other in any way? Of course. Like how? Your daddy has seasonal allergies and during our first year of marriage he would wake me up at night with his sneezing. And how did you get over it? Being annoyed does…
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I tune in
I listen to my home church from California, Peninsula Bible Church Cupertino. And I am inspired to come into the light. My mind clears just as I see my mentors and pastors who lead with passion despite the comfort of their life. And they’ve been doing it since they were my age. Brian came to…
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Where are you?
It’s the question God asks of Adam and Eve before things went south. It’s a rhetorical question. Because God knows everything. What did you do? I asked Jackie what happened. She stared at me, unmovable. I know her stoicism. I didn’t even get upset deep down. Nor disappointed. So I told her the story of…
