“I want you to give me an honest answer. Don’t say yes just because you are my mom.” I feel a bit overwhelmed by all the emotion and responsibility. I play the devil’s advocate often. Also, inadvertently I use reverse psychology and things turn out just right.
“Could this work?” She asks. “We are so young. Still kids. There is so much life to live, and changes to experiences. How does this relationship fits in. Could it last?”
She is honest with herself, I give her that. Among other things. She said she doesn’t want to invest in a relationship that would end in 5 years.
My honest take on this relationship is that it has a chance. But a lot has to line up for it to be the one. I met my husband in my last year in college and we married within a few months. Very unusual. So I’m comfortable with unusual in relationships. But I was painfully honest and direct and I didn’t shy away from hardship. Our previous life experiences made us who we were, and we learned from mistakes. Could our kids make mistakes and live with them?
I believe they are both overly mature for their age. It’s not a bad thing. It’s just heavy. Can they still have fun and let go and make room for the other and take up room for themselves?
The answer is yes. With a caveat. There is a chance. But the work is not mine, it is theirs. Can they become adults independently from each other? Could they stand alone? Even as they share this teenage love?
K went to a camp this week and I am jealous of his self-discovery and pursuit of faith. In all honesty I am happy for him and it inspires me that there are still leaders who pour wisdom and words of clarity and encouragement in the new generations. He told J that he wants to put God first before their relationship. I find that incredibly encouraging. They had probably deep discussions. I don’t know the details and I’m glad to be farther away from the deep Discussions. I want to pray by faith for them. And let my heart breathe… because often I worry more for his wellbeing than hers. She is near me and I know her mental strength and I can challenge her and sustain her. And I don’t want her to hurt his feelings out of carelessness.
And yet… here I am, having a daughter with the best attitude of ease and confidence, reserved and protective of her heart with wisdom… and I wish she were more honest or vulnerable with him. To respond in kind. To find her rhythm but try to match his speed, by communicating with clarity.
Anyway, I am also learning. What a privileged to be part of their story as a mom! I must not forget that in my tiredness I shall give thanks. And pray for all the good things God has in store for them… including their falling in love with God. And have that last a lifetime.