Cathartic journaling of an adoptive mom.
Latest Posts
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Gratitude
We feel your prayers. Like a warm blanket on a cold night. We feel at peace, grounded, cheerful, complete, calm, collected, happy. We brought Ivy home today, and I kept a purposefully watchful eye, for her particular needs, tendencies, challenges, and thought about how we could and would meet them. Ivy longed for us, because…
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Halfway home
There is something about looking intently at the details of the present and seeing clearly. As I told a friend, I find it exhilarating to write from the trenches the unedited experiences & raw emotions. Yesterday Ivy spent the 3rd full day with us. With every visit we observe changes and growth. She is more…
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First visit home
We have no control over things that happen to us in life. But we can control the way we respond to them. A couple of weeks ago someone rear-ended us during commute hour, before a busy roundabout. They made an honest mistake but they bent our trunk door and broke our bumper. We were on…
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Turning point
I was able to observe the evolution of my connection with Ivy, with a keen eye. I didn’t worry and I didn’t rush. I think I was just as cerebral with Jackie, but then I didn’t have a term of comparison. Also, nearly four years ago, we were told to enjoy this journey of coming…
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Dialogue and connection
Jackie, do you know how babies are made? God makes them (duh!) Yes, that’s true, but do you want to know the technical details? Yeeees? she leans in fully focused, wide eyed, intrigued. Evelyn is your biological sister because the same woman gave birth to you both. Wow! That’s so exciting! …Wait, you mean my…
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Evelyn
With reverence we enter into your world, sweet Evelyn. Perfect in every way. It feels as if I have known you forever. Inquisitive eyes, silliness and humor, you locked eyes with your daddy and were drawn to him with surprising warmth. You melted in his arms, resting your head on his chest. What a beautiful…
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The biggest battle
These last two years of waiting, waiting to meet my youngest daughter, I had to separate my mind from my heart. I know full well what my heart desires, but I also understand my adoptive parenting rights in our current legislative system, and the powerlessness while waiting. My biggest battle was against bitterness. It’s easy…
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Casa Elim
We picked J. up from school and hit the road to Braşov on the highway, cruising in delightful silence taking in the gorgeous January blue & funky sky. We spent the weekend in the mountains with new friends from all over the country and the world. We so needed a change of pace & to get…
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Scrambling up – in my dream
I’m near the top of the mountain. It’s rocky. The type of rocks I love, warm grey, with greenery in its crevasses. Jackie is ahead of me. I sustain her weight at times, pushing her up with my head. Conrad is nearby too. I hear his muffled encouragement. The wind is howling. We’re near the…
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At war with sin
My mom had a clear understanding of sin as I was growing up. I talk about her boundaries and intuitive parenting skills, but they all boil down to her ability to distinguish sin. In her own life first and foremost. Her ability to live by grace and in consequence extend it to us. But I…
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About hope, shame and love
When I’m excited I overshare.When my husband is excited, he makes stupid jokes. Last night we got to pray for the courage to speak boldly the things that need to be said, and for wisdom to know when to keep silent, and do that the rest of the time. We got so wrapped up in…
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Because of balance
…two heavy bags are easier than one, if you distribute the weight. We are starting the year with passion and focused energy. We’re laying the foundation for two different platforms, one has already been incorporated as an Association called polylogos.eu and has a clear vision, and resourceful people involved with drive and experience. The other…
