Cathartic journaling of an adoptive mom.
Latest Posts
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Responsibility
Parents need to learn to bluff. And take risks. And often, take a seat back and give time and space. Yesterday Jackie peeled 1kg of potatoes. She was so excited to do it. Two days ago I showed both girls how to peel potatoes and carrots and we made soup together. They subconsciously seek every…
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Perpetually
Whoa. Parenting is on my mind. A lot. This is the season in which I find myself. My predominant love language is acts of service. What a blessing that is, to combine my natural tendencies with my husband’s quality time and physical touch, expression of love. And gifts. We don’t speak exclusively one language. We…
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Unconditional love
It’s an Intertwined confidence that I feel. I’m otherwise comfortably humble, self conscious, and I enjoy a sense of invisibility. So I find my strong belief in my own lovability strange. Where did it come from? How was it built so sturdy and long term? What is the correlation between confidence and humility? More specifically…
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Trust and Truth
Yesterday we discussed about disciplining. At length. Jackie loves these philosophical conversations, situational, theoretical and practical. we reminisced about a time when Jackie said we are the most strict parents. And no other parent scolds their children as much as we do. Understandable sheltered perspective. I never saw other parents angry at their kids growing…
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Testing our resolve
Down the rabbit hole I go… She said, as a matter of fact, that in two days she goes back to her foster mom. Why? I ask intruigued.Because I want to. She responds nonchalantly. Context is everything. And if I recall correctly, last time she said she wants to go back, we’ve had quite a…
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Attention
Both girls will have a different childhood experience, no matter how much we would try to make it even. Jackie had us to herself for 3 years. Evelyn has a sister to share childhood with. The other day jackie told me though tears, that she feels we don’t give her as much attention anymore. The…
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Grandparents birthdays
We had a great day on my parents birthday during the pandemic year. We were alone on the terrace of a fancy restaurant. Nobody smoked. The food was fresh and delicious. And beautifully served. And my parents paid.The girls tried everything and ate well. We fulfilled all our cravings for sushi and ramen and tempura…
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Tears
I sent Ivy to bed late afternoonFor her afternoon napAs she got more restless, and goofy and clumsy.She stomped over to her room, plopped on the bed and proceeded to cryHer sister said loudly: “oh boy! Why are you moping about now?” Very “sisterly” of her.“I cry because mommy is upset with me” she responds…
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As a mom of two
I asked a few friends if it’s harder or easier to have a second child. All of them said it’s definitely harder for a while. But that shouldn’t deter someone to have more kids. At home, both my girls snuggle more, and want my attention and company. But when they are asked who plays more…
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My experience as an immigrant
It is futile to enter debates about politics on Facebook. People have made up their mind. And the conversations end up heated and unproductive. Possibly even damaging. My rule of thumb in life has been: if you don’t ask for my opinion, I don’t need to offer it. The other day I briefly shared about…
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Contrast and memories
I long for a quiet place. But right now, life is loud and messy and heavy. I slid down the sad and tired path. Turning around is not a simple switch. I am deeply tired. and I feel guilty too. For not giving that wholehearted smile or hug, but only halfhearted wounded pride, exhausted arms…
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Gratitude list
I let myself feel all the heavy, unpleasant feelings, and instead of confronting them and then leaving them behind, this time it felt as if I entered a labyrinth. I sunk in deeper and deeper. It didn’t help that we had two days of heavy rain and dark clouds. Conrad gave me a nice afternoon…
