Cathartic journaling of an adoptive mom.
Latest Posts
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The day I reached my limit
I was feeling the burnout. The girls dragging their feet. Pushing the bedtime. Being goofy. Being too cute for the late hour. They couldn’t agree on the stories. I already read one that ivy chose. Then trying to decide on a Japanese story, ivy requested a different one than jackie. And I decided to not…
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PDA
We laughed when Jackie made silly disgusted noises as Conrad kissed e on the lips. He told her he did the same as a teenager, when his parents kissed. They still kiss actually. Seeing his parents display such tender affection for one other, though he didn’t express his appreciation then, it made him feel safe…
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First day of wearing a corset
She tried it on. It’s looks cool. But it’s uncomfortable. She doesn’t complain much. She got teary as she put it on, because it wasn’t set quite right. She complained she can’t breath, that it was too tight on her chest cavity. We let her adjust the straps herself, to whatever she was comfortable. She…
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First outing without the girls
Marc came over for the morning, to spent time with the grandparents. Then he came up to our apartment of his own accord, because he’s become familiar with the toys, us and the girls. Conrad got a call to go pick up his weekend ordered bag of coffee. And I got the call toPick up…
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must. have. fun.
At night we look like we fought in the war. Both conrad and I. I have no energy to write, to think, not even to focus on watching a simple show. My brain is fried. I’m overstimulated. My hearing and my lap. My main live language is acts of service. I enjoy cooking, cleaning, driving…
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altmann.haus
During the pandemic, my father in law struck gold with inspiration. To be able to dig deep, buckle down and get creative in such stressful uncertain times, it’s a super power. Dad seemed to find his groove better than in normal times. I admit I envy his focus. When the girls are awake I can’t…
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A different type of 90 days
I’m working on my second book: the 5 year journey of adoption. A lot of it is my inner spiritual journey shaped by events and our decision to move across the world, in order to adopt. We undergo the chiseling surgery of expanding our family through the second adoption, and our brains feel wrung and…
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Quarantine
For many people covid 19 has been a theoretical virus that others have. The virus that screws with the world economy and the freedom to roam around as we please. After two months of lockdown, the world regained some freedom or tried to take it by force, but at what cost? We stayed away from…
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Two months together
We keep Evelyn busy Life is fun. Except when it isn’t. When there are rules and boundaries, bed time and business to attend to. My attention shifted to Jaclyn the past week. We go to physical therapy every day. Jaclyn said today: “I love this time I have with just you going to therapy!” This…
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Reminiscing week
At meal time we pray. Evelyn squints her eyes as she lists the things she prays for. Sometimes she goes on and on. I look at her with glee. She is so endearing. I am so curious about what her mind processes, that I find this exercise to be very telling. A few days ago…
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It’s a cool summer
Breezy and green. We’ve had the time to fully notice it this year of covid lockdown. We have two daughters at home. The storm of emotions we have braced for, was like a summer rain, matching the weather outside: refreshing, expected, needed. With the lockdown and social distancing, having two kids at home who get…
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6 weeks together full time
The other night I was putting both girls to be and after I read each of them a story, both listened enthralled but still managed to interrupt me with nonsense a few times. Evelyn has had a hard time letting me go while falling asleep. At the foster mom nobody sat there to baby her.…
