Cathartic journaling of an adoptive mom.
Latest Posts
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Când e bună frica?
Ferice de omul pe care-l ceartă Dumnezeu, si frica de Domnul este începutul înțelepciunii. Vorbeam aseara despre nu stiu ce, dar am spus ca ma bucur ca tati e om cu frică de Dumnezeu. Jackie uluita de aceasta idee: “Cum adica sa ne fie frica de Dumnezeu.” Si uite asa intram in chestiuni de finete…
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Stop
It’s Saturday. We went up to our house in progress to enjoy the Spring sun, on the back porch. As I was chatting with Camilla, I hear Jackie come into the house crying. Conrad meets her at the door that stood wide open this whole time. She is shaken and it’s the first time I…
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Reflective winter psalm poem
Psalm 93-94 The howling anger was quietedAt the foot of the cross The circumstances in essence unchangedThere was peace in the eye of the storm As emotions and annoyances stirI keep them in checkI push them down with easeI stuff them deeperAnd peace is kept. A month, two months go byAnd I feel less and…
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Modelare vs cizelare
Cât suntem tineri, maleabili, flexibili, ne modelam. Odată ce ne-am întărit obiceiurile, mintea, inima, daca vrem schimbare, trebuie sa cizelam. Desigur e mai zgomotos si mai dureros sa cioplim la caracterul nostru, dar si in procesul de cizelare, putem fi un material bun sau unul încăpățânat, si aspru si sfărâmicios, sensibil. Avem o fereastra de…
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Does God care?
Does He really care about my small wishes, heart desires, hopes and dreams? I’ve always been under the impression that He does indeed. I look Him in the eyes of her heart and he gazes into my heart and delights in me. My problems are not too insignificant for Him. Everything that happens to me,…
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TBRI and attachment style introspection
Apparently my personality style thrives on efficiency. It’s true. When a friend made the observation about my Myers Briggs I had an aha moment. When we decided to adopt, I thought I would efficiently bounce between experiences and double down on sharing or applying my knowledge. Much like walking, one foot in front of another,…
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Timing
We noticed that when we correct one of the girls, the other one makes a point to let us know she loves us. This timing gave me foot for thought. I can easily read through the lines so I want to address it and redress it. The girls sense the tension and they want to…
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Smartypants
These stylish kind of pants start to fit just right at around 7 years of age. Or so it seems. I frankly don’t like the look of them. I would prefer a dash of humility, self-awareness, attentiveness, emptying the cup of self to make room for valuable experiences and wisdom. I took note of personalities…
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Love versus law
My intuition tells me to slow down my legalism in integrity. I’m hunted by the verse that says that God wins us over through love, not through punishment. I had a good day with my jackie. My big girl. Thoughtful, curious, kind. It pangs me when she asks if I still love her when she…
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Minciunici și minciunele
A nins de un metru. Azi comandam ultimele lucruri necesare pentru casa in progres. Il las pe Conrad langa Dedeman si merg s-o iau pe Jackie de la școala. Îmi propun o atitudine jovială, senina, calda. E o zi buna de altfel. Dar as vrea sa transmit liniște si siguranța copiilor mei, in tumultul asta…
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Diconfortul maturizării
Am avut un weekend tensionat cu temele la mate. Simțul resopnsabilității, exacerbat la mine, dezechilibrează, dacă nu sunt atentă, responsabilizarea celor din jur. E ușor să lași pe altul să facă, mai ales dacă te poți baza că face bine și la timp. în mediul profesional a te înconjura cu oameni de încredere și harnici…
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Ritm de februarie
Ne-am tras sufletul in weekend. Fetele au dormit o noapte la bunici. Noi ne-am uitat la un film si ne-am culcat devreme. Am dormit neintrerupt. Evelyn vorbeste in somn. Tare. Clar. Nazal. Striga: “Mami, Dad!” Imi spune prin Somn ca a doua zi o sa ii fie dor de mine cat va fi la Gradinita.…
