What makes me come alive

I am lucky to have had low lows and high highs and the space to discern what I love to do and am good at. Passion doesn’t make us experts, it makes the learning fun and seemingly easy. But hard it is.

I am not an expert about adoption, but I can speak from personal experience. Stories always give weight to our engagement, and while I love expertise and reliability in different areas, and I wish my words and knowledge would be clear concise and final, life is a dance of humility and always learning. Maybe we were not meant to have definitive knowledge about anything. We are meant to pursue knowledge, share our polished thoughts and remain curious about others’ stories and experiences.

I grew up with a sense of discretion and freedom about my life. I have fought even with my height, because it made me stand out literally. Talking with Jodi, the author who spent the night at our place after the conference, she spoke with generosity about my contribution and impact of my words, either through the recording about my book club or the hosting of the conference. “Sister, you are cool! And the words you use and how you share… you have a gift!” It is not the first time I receive this feedback. So why then do I feel like I have nothing to say often.

Preparing for the conference, I heard someone say that too often people take it upon themselves, and their personal validated gifts, to do God’s work and rely too much on the worldly pedestal of affirmation, not out of pride, but to draw confidence from.

As leaders, we can’t expect others to push us forward. There are times we need to step up in faith and take charge. If you don’t step into the light, you can’t fail or make mistakes and that’s why the shadows of anonymity are so appealing and comfortable.

I was not the leader of this organizing team, but I consolidated the info and disseminated it. Only a few minor things fell through he cracks. But because all the women I worked with are leaders in their respective areas of expertise, the conference was hosted with shared grace and balance. I learned so much, about resources and what we have and what we can do with what we have. They taught me so much about the courage of asking for resources and relying on volunteers who are responsible and kind and available. Our moderator tied it all together, and I have deep admiration for her set of skills and human connection.

Servant leadership at its best! I have once organized a conference and i did everything. I was completely spent at the end of it. This event was absolutely enjoyable and recharging for myself included.

I have made this one mistake most often. I have allowed the ideas I wanted to share, float in my head, unsorted, rich, disorganized and I relied on sharing them inspired in the moment. I love creative speeches drawn out by the connection with the audience. But I realized when I am fully invested and I have too many things to say, my mind draws a black and I leave too many important details out. Because I’ve been thinking abut them too much in the last weeks. So for this conference I drafted a page and a half of a 5 minute speech. The inspiration to write it came late at night (as it always does). And I didn’t change anything about it. I re-read it 2-3 times and put it out of my mind. And this I discovered the way to do it. I was concise, I didn’t rely on my audience to say the right thing, I didn’t rush to finish fast out of fear that I talk too much wasting their time. And the information I shared was exactly what needed to be said, and it was from the heart. May I learn well from this experience and apply it in the future with confidence.

The #secondmothers event was a wonderful success, and I say this with gratitude and no fear of pride. God was gracious with us, and as we asked for his blessing and his work be done, his words to become seeds of courage in the audience’s heart, we did our part, in advance and on the day, and allowed ourselves to be present and savior the feast as well. To God be the glory!


M-am afundat in ultimul an in frica de plafonare. Ca viața mea devine tot mai aglomerata cu urgente zilnice, legate de copii si de familie, si uite așa mi se va termina viața si n-apuc sa fac nimic semnificativ. Apoi un contrast de gânduri: ca îmi îngrop talantul pe de o parte. Si pe de alta: cine sunt eu sa am ceva de zis? Nu sunt îndeajuns de buna sa fac vreo diferența, si n-ar fi potrivit sa le pierd timpul oamenilor.
In ultima luna am lucrat cot la cot (zoom la zoom) cu o mâna de femei minunate. Si împreuna am găzduit un eveniment memorabil.
E a doua oară când vin la viața si uit de mine, punându-mi darurile in negoț, la chemarea ARFO. Pur si simplu nu ma mai gândesc la ce nu am si nu știu. Si fac ce pot cat pot de bine. Si încrederea lor, aspirația la excelenta, prietenia, autenticitatea si abordabilitatea lor, sunt un sos grozav.