Cathartic journaling of an adoptive mom.
Latest Posts
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Intuition
I wasn’t vocal about my intuition as a kid, because I didn’t want to be shut down, mocked, dismissed. I guess I kept quiet a lot because I didn’t want people’s input. Though there is something to be said about brainstorming, and exposing our thoughts, bringing them into the light, to challenge them, and objectively…
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Ivy’s comment
Parenting is riddled with doubt, with fear, with mistakes. Seriously. On the other hand, we have seasons of fun, of connection, of growth, hope renewed and perfect peace. And those wonderful seasons are just as real as the other challenging ones. Just like I don’t worry about pride anymore. I used to as a student,…
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Third Stanza – the sidewalk ends
On my Thursday evening zoom with Brian and the world wide remnant, where we make space to hear people’s poems, to hear their hearts beat, to honor vulnerability, to bear witness to each others’ lives, under the umbrela of the Word, studying details of the Old Testament, the art, the poetry, the smallest words that…
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Second stanza – decision
First time when I apply for a job and have a few interviews. After Conrad’s cancer I worried about our ability to provide. He is the designer. I manage everything else. We’ve become very interdependent. One would say enmeshed or codependent financially. I am extremely busy. Exhausted. Spent. Invested. But I’m not independent. With the…
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Moody
As a quiet person, I had a lot of time for introspection. It really helped me keep my balance. And my teenage life was not tumultuous. I remember feeling weepy occasionally, but I had learned in my preteen season, to bring my sadness to God, and not let my tears go to waste. Every night…
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The way we discipline
I have said it before, that my parents didn’t have a defined plan in how to raise us. They were not parenting book based in their approach but they were intuitive, wise, adaptable. They made mistakes and the mistakes were just as valuable as what they did well. My one frustration is that they would…
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Believe
What my daughter needs is words of encouragement. It’s her lifeline, especially when she struggles, when she doubts herself. A parent’s belief in the kids’ success comes before the success. I believe god help my unbelief. As I speak power into her heart, “you are smart, you will succeed, you will overcome this challenge” I…
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First stanza – The pillar of salt, looking back
After seven years of self-employment, self-driven activities, I applied for a job. I stumbled upon the opening on LinkedIn and in the spot of the moment I applied. I already had the first interview and it went really well. Hundreds of people also applied though. Waiting to hear feedback. So I’m in the middle of…
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Mindset
“The damage is done. Let’s see how we can fix it.” On the receiving end, if someone with authority says that to you, instead of discussing consequences, it’s pure grace. You don’t sweep the issue under the cover. But the approach is not punitive. It’s constructive. Literally. Last week, an adoptive parent said that his…
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Work in progress
We don’t just have an opinion. We have perspective. Language is powerful. It was brought to my attention that our approach to our role in society, or our opinion of our contribution, is meek. I’m not a fan of self-proclamation. I’m uncomfortable tooting my own horn. But as Paul says in the Bible, we are…
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The road to healing
My experience as an adoptive parent tells me that the hard part is only now beginning. The ability to trust again, to rest, to find pleasure in simple activities. For some, the ability to still enjoy life in the midst of chaos may have been their saving grace. The adults have a better self-regulating system,…
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The gift of imperfection
I got a call yesterday from Jackie’s English teacher. She acknowledged Jackie’s language skill but encouraged us to help her or pay attention to her spelling. I love Jackie’s phonetical writing. It’s endearing. Conrad as a native speaker didn’t spell much better when he was her age. I honestly had no concern about her English…
