Category: Parenting
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Agency and character
My kids don’t belong to me. They don’t belong to their foster family. They are not bound to their bio roots either. My kids belong to God. And my purpose in their lives is to influence their character, to help them know and love their Maker. They have agency though. It’s God’s gift to humanity.…
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Fearless discomfort
I am part of #mopscluj and when I booked my ticket for America this winter, I took into consideration the date of the gathering, and booked my ticket out the following day. My tribe. I enjoy being alone. I can discern God’s voice and my calling, with clarity, unencumbered by so many variables. But as…
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About trust
Being trustworthy is something we build in time. It starts with our parents giving us responsibility according to our ability, and as we learn, as we become more able, agile, responsible, the trust grows. Our trust in ourselves. Our parent’s trust in us. But what a gift trust is! I have felt at times that…
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To have agency
We like to be rescuers even when we don’t like to rescue. In social science, agency is defined as the capacity of individuals to act independently and to make their own free choices. God gave us free will. Isn’t that great! Not just for us, but it takes the pressure off of us to convince our…
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Cold-Turkey
We entered a new stage. I wasn’t oblivious to the temporary peace and understanding we were just experiencing these last two months. Yet change happened overnight. For example, now, all of a sudden, when we correct Ivy (as usual, at her level, with the same warmth and understanding), or when we say no to her,…
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Compliments
For a month now, my daughters have been showering me with compliments. They say it out-loud everywhere: “You are such a good mom! You are the best mom! I love you so much.” They say this at the pool, in the grocery store, at church, out on a walk… I am glad they appreciate me.…
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Home and hospitality
I grew up in a small apartment. But my parents seemed oblivious to the lack of abundant space and resources, so when we hosted people for meals or overnight, we gave everything we had without overthinking it. I just wish our one bathroom was more posh than it was. Anyway, we were oblivious about the…
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I have a manuscript ready
The work to polish the manuscript is daunting. It’s a book of poems born during hard times. I realize it’s a compilation of poems about depression hope and faith while waiting. The question that crossed my mind was: “who wants to read a depressing collection of poems?” But I do. I like reading these over…
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The Vista
Someone pointed out the unfairness in the order of some events in our lives. I refuse to believe that the good is balanced out by some bad. Good is good and bad has it’s place in this broken world. When we finally met our second daughter the pandemic hit and we had to wait a…
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Making up for memory gaps
Yesterday both girls got into a discussion about their past. Jackie claimed being the first to experience poverty. Because Ivy was not even born yet. There was a combination of hearing their heart and thought process while aligning the truth that provides a strong foothold in reality. Jackie was distressed that she doesn’t remember anymore.…
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Getting off the circle
I remembered about the cycle of trust, when kids have a sort of ebb and flow, with their parents or caregiver, or person of reference. They explore the world and they return to connect with their adult. When they are little kids, this back and forth is very dense. Kids barely turn around to test…
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Post adoption visit
It’s Friday morning. Jackie is at school already. Ivy woke up early too. It’s a warmer morning than usual. I am enjoying a slow start of the day, as I didn’t rush out the door; my parents offered to drive Jackie to school this morning. Such a gift! Ana’s visit is enthusiastically anticipated by Ivy.…