Category: Parenting
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Scoliosis update
A year and a half ago we discovered Jackie has scoliosis. It’s practically invisible to the untrained eye, but there it was. We embarked on a journey of self discipline, wearing a corset, doing daily stretches. Mentally and emotionally exhausted, and outgrowing the corset, we took two summer months off of wearing the corset or…
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Smile more
“Fake it until you make it.” As a worn down mom, going through the motions is not a betrayal of truth, of self or of my family. Going through the motions, of serving, washing, cooking, working, reading, soothing, listening, praying, and then taking to heart the genuine feedback of my youngest daughter during the darkest…
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Birthday party
The more enthusiastic Jackie was, the more I dreaded the planning of her birthday party. I felt her expectations were getting out of control. But I understand her genuine kid heart and joyful anticipation. When it comes to parties, I include all people out of a sense of responsibility and usually things turn out diluted.…
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Iron sharpens iron
Oh my goodness. For a few months I got a little worried. My eldest daughter would so easily get on my nerves. We would butt heads, and we would disagree too often for my comfort. And every day was the same. We would find something to cause disagreement. The feeling of helplessness or feeling trapped…
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What makes me come alive
I am lucky to have had low lows and high highs and the space to discern what I love to do and am good at. Passion doesn’t make us experts, it makes the learning fun and seemingly easy. But hard it is. I am not an expert about adoption, but I can speak from personal…
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humor and perspective
I went in to tidy up the girls room, and saw short black hair on ivy’s bed. I thought in might be Rufus’ and I brushed it off. But as I picked up more stuff, I saw chunks of other type of hair everywhere. And the Disney princesses mixed about the carpet. I thought they…
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Transformation
Returning home from school, ivy declares her expectations or wishes for the rest of the day. Taking a deep breath and letting the conversation unfold slowly is increasingly challenging with two kids. I agree but mention that jackie needs to eat lunch and then do her work before play. Tired after school, with a bucket…
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Deep silence
For months I felt like I can’t focus, my mind being called in too many directions. It is my first day alone in this house. And I love it. The dryer hums in the background like with a soothing productivity sound. We left the house before sunrise. We first dropped Conrad off at the hospital…
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Intense day
I spent the morning with the girls getting blood drawn and seeing a variety of doctors for a routine checkup. Meanwhile Conrad was checking on some recent discomfort. Nine years ago, in 2012 we were entering a whirlwind of emotions when conrad was diagnosed with cancer and rushed into surgery. One testicle was removed. In…
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Funny conversation
Loud and clear on the stairs ivy says: “Ok. Now let’s say I’m having sex.” Silence. I ask her nonchalantly:“What are you having?” “Sex!” She replies with certainty. “Are you sure?” I try to understand what she means. “Well, now I’m just pretending. I’ll have sex when I get married.” “What does it mean to…
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Second mothers event in Cluj
I was subtly assigned the host role for a very special event, for adoptive and foster moms. I am honored and anxious about it. If I put aside my self awareness and self induced humility, I bravely pull up my sleeves and do what needs to be done, without overthinking it. My saving Grace is…
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Stubbornness, disobedience and leadership
Ivy looks at me with narrow eyes. Piercing me. I used to be like her as a kid. I had a quiet strength. And sometimes I’d get my way with my stubbornness. Mama wound give in because she would rise above the power struggle. She seemed immune to it. She adapted. This morning I was…