Category: Parenting
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I have a manuscript ready
The work to polish the manuscript is daunting. It’s a book of poems born during hard times. I realize it’s a compilation of poems about depression hope and faith while waiting. The question that crossed my mind was: “who wants to read a depressing collection of poems?” But I do. I like reading these over…
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The Vista
Someone pointed out the unfairness in the order of some events in our lives. I refuse to believe that the good is balanced out by some bad. Good is good and bad has it’s place in this broken world. When we finally met our second daughter the pandemic hit and we had to wait a…
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Making up for memory gaps
Yesterday both girls got into a discussion about their past. Jackie claimed being the first to experience poverty. Because Ivy was not even born yet. There was a combination of hearing their heart and thought process while aligning the truth that provides a strong foothold in reality. Jackie was distressed that she doesn’t remember anymore.…
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Getting off the circle
I remembered about the cycle of trust, when kids have a sort of ebb and flow, with their parents or caregiver, or person of reference. They explore the world and they return to connect with their adult. When they are little kids, this back and forth is very dense. Kids barely turn around to test…
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Post adoption visit
It’s Friday morning. Jackie is at school already. Ivy woke up early too. It’s a warmer morning than usual. I am enjoying a slow start of the day, as I didn’t rush out the door; my parents offered to drive Jackie to school this morning. Such a gift! Ana’s visit is enthusiastically anticipated by Ivy.…
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Scoliosis update
A year and a half ago we discovered Jackie has scoliosis. It’s practically invisible to the untrained eye, but there it was. We embarked on a journey of self discipline, wearing a corset, doing daily stretches. Mentally and emotionally exhausted, and outgrowing the corset, we took two summer months off of wearing the corset or…
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Smile more
“Fake it until you make it.” As a worn down mom, going through the motions is not a betrayal of truth, of self or of my family. Going through the motions, of serving, washing, cooking, working, reading, soothing, listening, praying, and then taking to heart the genuine feedback of my youngest daughter during the darkest…
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Birthday party
The more enthusiastic Jackie was, the more I dreaded the planning of her birthday party. I felt her expectations were getting out of control. But I understand her genuine kid heart and joyful anticipation. When it comes to parties, I include all people out of a sense of responsibility and usually things turn out diluted.…
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Iron sharpens iron
Oh my goodness. For a few months I got a little worried. My eldest daughter would so easily get on my nerves. We would butt heads, and we would disagree too often for my comfort. And every day was the same. We would find something to cause disagreement. The feeling of helplessness or feeling trapped…
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What makes me come alive
I am lucky to have had low lows and high highs and the space to discern what I love to do and am good at. Passion doesn’t make us experts, it makes the learning fun and seemingly easy. But hard it is. I am not an expert about adoption, but I can speak from personal…
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humor and perspective
I went in to tidy up the girls room, and saw short black hair on ivy’s bed. I thought in might be Rufus’ and I brushed it off. But as I picked up more stuff, I saw chunks of other type of hair everywhere. And the Disney princesses mixed about the carpet. I thought they…
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Transformation
Returning home from school, ivy declares her expectations or wishes for the rest of the day. Taking a deep breath and letting the conversation unfold slowly is increasingly challenging with two kids. I agree but mention that jackie needs to eat lunch and then do her work before play. Tired after school, with a bucket…