To have agency

We like to be rescuers even when we don’t like to rescue. In social science, agency is defined as the capacity of individuals to act independently and to make their own free choices. God gave us free will. Isn’t that great! Not just for us, but it takes the pressure off of us to convince our kids to act according to our own will and instead to help them learn to use their own judgement.

I was reminded these days, reading a book by Orson Scott Card, that finding the right balance of warmth and nature and discipline is art. Another book reminded me that I don’t have to try so hard. Find that sweet spot of acceleration, to not kill the engine and not spend all the gas, but take advantage of the inertia, and find joy on the journey.

The wisdom of parenting is within reach. The wisdom that doesn’t condemn. The wisdom that builds us up. I find studying the Bible to be an excellent resource. God is affirming and empathetic and wise. The best kind of Friend on the journey. And He sets the stage for freedom, consequences, grace, abundant grace and a last measure of grace when he lets us face the discomfort of our own choices.