Category: Adoption
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Moved by the Spirit
Lately I have felt more comfortable in live conversations than I had energy to summarize in writing my adventures. And there has been so much going on that even if I were to write five extensive blog posts, I couldn’t capture everything that was said and done. I have learned early on that our lives…
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I have a manuscript ready
The work to polish the manuscript is daunting. It’s a book of poems born during hard times. I realize it’s a compilation of poems about depression hope and faith while waiting. The question that crossed my mind was: “who wants to read a depressing collection of poems?” But I do. I like reading these over…
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The Vista
Someone pointed out the unfairness in the order of some events in our lives. I refuse to believe that the good is balanced out by some bad. Good is good and bad has it’s place in this broken world. When we finally met our second daughter the pandemic hit and we had to wait a…
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Making up for memory gaps
Yesterday both girls got into a discussion about their past. Jackie claimed being the first to experience poverty. Because Ivy was not even born yet. There was a combination of hearing their heart and thought process while aligning the truth that provides a strong foothold in reality. Jackie was distressed that she doesn’t remember anymore.…
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Getting off the circle
I remembered about the cycle of trust, when kids have a sort of ebb and flow, with their parents or caregiver, or person of reference. They explore the world and they return to connect with their adult. When they are little kids, this back and forth is very dense. Kids barely turn around to test…
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Post adoption visit
It’s Friday morning. Jackie is at school already. Ivy woke up early too. It’s a warmer morning than usual. I am enjoying a slow start of the day, as I didn’t rush out the door; my parents offered to drive Jackie to school this morning. Such a gift! Ana’s visit is enthusiastically anticipated by Ivy.…
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Scoliosis update
A year and a half ago we discovered Jackie has scoliosis. It’s practically invisible to the untrained eye, but there it was. We embarked on a journey of self discipline, wearing a corset, doing daily stretches. Mentally and emotionally exhausted, and outgrowing the corset, we took two summer months off of wearing the corset or…
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Iron sharpens iron
Oh my goodness. For a few months I got a little worried. My eldest daughter would so easily get on my nerves. We would butt heads, and we would disagree too often for my comfort. And every day was the same. We would find something to cause disagreement. The feeling of helplessness or feeling trapped…
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Did she love me?
My daughters haven’t asked quite yet, this question about their bio mom. But all older adoptees have wondered this very thing. Some verbalize the question. Some are hunted by it. I met the other day with an adoptive mom whose daughter is 15 and who is a believer. Around age 8, her daughter asked her…
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What makes me come alive
I am lucky to have had low lows and high highs and the space to discern what I love to do and am good at. Passion doesn’t make us experts, it makes the learning fun and seemingly easy. But hard it is. I am not an expert about adoption, but I can speak from personal…
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Adoption, motherhood and leadership
I am not maternal. As a kid even, I didn’t seek comfort, even when it was offered. I relished in it in small doses or got enough of it before I could even remember. I don’t ask myself about the past. Not anymore At least. Instead I’m finding my balance to do well in my…
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Second mothers event in Cluj
I was subtly assigned the host role for a very special event, for adoptive and foster moms. I am honored and anxious about it. If I put aside my self awareness and self induced humility, I bravely pull up my sleeves and do what needs to be done, without overthinking it. My saving Grace is…