Category: Adoption
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When it clicks
When I run out of solutions, I blatantly point my husband or my kids to God. “Ask Him!” I say. Pray about it. I don’t know anymore. It is not a secret that my biggest trigger is a disrespectful or ungrateful attitude. I wonder sometimes if my eyes trick me and I jump to conclusions.…
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Repair
They say it is better to make mistakes and repair than to be a perfect parent. So they say. A bone that breaks but heals well, it’s stronger than the bone that never broke. I assume it’s the other leg of the same person so we have generally the same bone density to begin with.…
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Connection
When we are at odds with out kids, we know what they need most is connection. When they whine, they misbehave, they push boundaries, if we as parents find a way to rise above the drama, feel mercy, feel empathy, show kindness, express honesty, then the connection is reestablished. For a few days we struggled.…
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Letter to my daughters
Before I knew you, before I become your mother, I thought about what I will leave to you. In fact, my keen desire to pass on the gifts I received, led me to adopt you. Not so much the material things, but a feeling of belonging, of security, to make room for you in the…
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Strong foothold
My youngest demonstrates early critical thinking. She questions questionable matters. The other day she was convinced that the Alias board can unfold once more. Most board games in Austin were larger. We hasn’t played this one in two months. She kept trying to peel off to unfold it further. We told her this one is…
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Advice
I have made so many mistakes this year. Soon I started to feel like I don’t know anything anymore. And that I’m about to loose my mind or I will run away. Conrad can attest to it. All my book smarts were useless as I felt swept under the vortex of emotions in my tiny…
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In the darkest hour of your night
I may start a collection of conversations before bedtime with my daughters. Yesterday morning j was frustrated that she needs to do her back stretches while ivy was doing a puzzle. She feels that being younger is easier. I agree. What she forgets is that and she is younger than me. She asked in her…
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Love for other children
My good-old friend Carmen has this sweetness expressed in her eyes, her words, to kids, many kids, my kids. Long ago interactions with my daughters make a lasting impression. Jackie said one day: “Carmen loves me.” How do you know? I ask. “Because of the way she greets me and calls me beautiful and sunshine.”…
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Simplified engaging American style
We went to church. It’s Christmas week, and quite the experience for ivy. Though initially they were going to go to Sunday school, the kids had a christmas pageant and our daughters stayed with us in second row center. It’s a Presbyterian church mom and dad go to. it was an engaging morning, with carols…
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Do you like having kids?
We were driving to a quaint Texan town down South. I was in the back with the girls, mom and auntie Halie. We were talking about the challenge of bedtime, that all parents struggle with. The hostage-like situation. The delay. And the obvious difference between how long it takes a dad vs. a mom to…
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Agency and character
My kids don’t belong to me. They don’t belong to their foster family. They are not bound to their bio roots either. My kids belong to God. And my purpose in their lives is to influence their character, to help them know and love their Maker. They have agency though. It’s God’s gift to humanity.…
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Home and hospitality
I grew up in a small apartment. But my parents seemed oblivious to the lack of abundant space and resources, so when we hosted people for meals or overnight, we gave everything we had without overthinking it. I just wish our one bathroom was more posh than it was. Anyway, we were oblivious about the…