Cathartic journaling of an adoptive mom.
Latest Posts
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As a mom of two
I asked a few friends if it’s harder or easier to have a second child. All of them said it’s definitely harder for a while. But that shouldn’t deter someone to have more kids. At home, both my girls snuggle more, and want my attention and company. But when they are asked who plays more…
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My experience as an immigrant
It is futile to enter debates about politics on Facebook. People have made up their mind. And the conversations end up heated and unproductive. Possibly even damaging. My rule of thumb in life has been: if you don’t ask for my opinion, I don’t need to offer it. The other day I briefly shared about…
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Contrast and memories
I long for a quiet place. But right now, life is loud and messy and heavy. I slid down the sad and tired path. Turning around is not a simple switch. I am deeply tired. and I feel guilty too. For not giving that wholehearted smile or hug, but only halfhearted wounded pride, exhausted arms…
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Gratitude list
I let myself feel all the heavy, unpleasant feelings, and instead of confronting them and then leaving them behind, this time it felt as if I entered a labyrinth. I sunk in deeper and deeper. It didn’t help that we had two days of heavy rain and dark clouds. Conrad gave me a nice afternoon…
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The day I reached my limit
I was feeling the burnout. The girls dragging their feet. Pushing the bedtime. Being goofy. Being too cute for the late hour. They couldn’t agree on the stories. I already read one that ivy chose. Then trying to decide on a Japanese story, ivy requested a different one than jackie. And I decided to not…
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PDA
We laughed when Jackie made silly disgusted noises as Conrad kissed e on the lips. He told her he did the same as a teenager, when his parents kissed. They still kiss actually. Seeing his parents display such tender affection for one other, though he didn’t express his appreciation then, it made him feel safe…
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First day of wearing a corset
She tried it on. It’s looks cool. But it’s uncomfortable. She doesn’t complain much. She got teary as she put it on, because it wasn’t set quite right. She complained she can’t breath, that it was too tight on her chest cavity. We let her adjust the straps herself, to whatever she was comfortable. She…
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First outing without the girls
Marc came over for the morning, to spent time with the grandparents. Then he came up to our apartment of his own accord, because he’s become familiar with the toys, us and the girls. Conrad got a call to go pick up his weekend ordered bag of coffee. And I got the call toPick up…
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must. have. fun.
At night we look like we fought in the war. Both conrad and I. I have no energy to write, to think, not even to focus on watching a simple show. My brain is fried. I’m overstimulated. My hearing and my lap. My main live language is acts of service. I enjoy cooking, cleaning, driving…
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altmann.haus
During the pandemic, my father in law struck gold with inspiration. To be able to dig deep, buckle down and get creative in such stressful uncertain times, it’s a super power. Dad seemed to find his groove better than in normal times. I admit I envy his focus. When the girls are awake I can’t…
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A different type of 90 days
I’m working on my second book: the 5 year journey of adoption. A lot of it is my inner spiritual journey shaped by events and our decision to move across the world, in order to adopt. We undergo the chiseling surgery of expanding our family through the second adoption, and our brains feel wrung and…
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Quarantine
For many people covid 19 has been a theoretical virus that others have. The virus that screws with the world economy and the freedom to roam around as we please. After two months of lockdown, the world regained some freedom or tried to take it by force, but at what cost? We stayed away from…
