Cathartic journaling of an adoptive mom.
Latest Posts
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an imitation game
At this stage kids are pretty transparent about emulating the people they love. A year ago she wanted to wear pants like me. Or shoes like me. Today she was dead set on getting a haircut like me. We are aware that we influence our kids. Even subconsciously. I know courage is conscious. Hopefulness. Hard…
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Anxiety makes poor decisions
Acting out of fear, concern, worry, it’s not my comfort zone. It dawned on me that I have experienced a slew of unflattering yet real feelings. My emotional radar was being jammed by white noise. From outside and inside. I finally made the last payment on the house and a fog was lifted. Or better…
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Psalm 104
I loved Psalm 104. I loved all the psalms of praise. Who knew there is so much depth in joy and gratitude and exaltation. Psalm 104 fed me. Grounded me. The imagery, the simplicity and depth of truth exposed. I look at a beautiful grey sky as I write. The sky in Romania during Spring…
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About consistency and eye-contact
Don’t look into a child’s eyes unless you are ready to reflect back their greatness, delightfulness, potential… I have been so burdened, wrapped up, distracted last week that I don’t remember slowing down enough to enjoy and delight in my kids’ presence. I have corrected them plenty and scolded them some. On Tuesday I dropped…
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The Woman – interview
Violeta Altmann is an atypical mother, if we look at her in a superficial way and especially through the prism of generations raised in a conservative and closed Romania. Towards the end of college she traveled to the States with Work and Travel, in California and eventually ended up working for one of the most…
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Father’s Day
Nobody or very few people know that today Romania celebrates Father’s Day. Anyway, we did observe this special day with a hike. A 13.5 km hike. As we got in the car, he asked for his gift: “no complaining on his Father’s Day hike.” The girls agreed. Including me. We picked up yummy food from…
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The intertwine of parenting while having adult conversations
I’m developing a twitch. An eye twitch. The fear of interruption for some inane reason, is real. If the girls go to the bathroom, the moment they return to the room they have to tell me about their experience or confirm they washed their hands or share a thought they had on the pot. I…
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A si A’ poem de mama
In primul sezon rolul de mama m-a împlinit M-a înflorit. A dat roade. Mi-a dat un scop. Un loc. O bucurie nespus de mare. Acum, In alt sezon Același rol de mama ma frânge. Ma zdrobește. Stoarce din mine tot mustul Macină grâul, pana la ultimul fir Sa poata pregăti pâine Împărtășirea. Ma țin cu…
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Parent meltdowns
In April, I had a meltdown. The girls wanted to sleep at the grandparents and I reluctantly let them. I’m not sure why I was reluctant. Alas, I needed some time to myself. Why would I categorize my emotional guard down as meltdown? Because I sobbed and sobbed without worrying about who hears me. And…
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God sees me
The past few nights I woke up and couldn’t sleep for a few hours. Instead of worrying about stuff, I decided to pray. If I had no words to pray, I would meditate on God. At some point, it dawned on me that God sees me. God knows how I feel, and there is no…
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Let us not forget
Our purpose in our children’s lives. To see the best in themTo envision their best version. To build them upTo polish gentlyAnd let them see and feel our extravagant love. When we gently correct Or remind them the millionth time To not speak with food in the mouth Or to put away the dirty socks And it seems…
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Self-assurance
I started following this adoption account on instagram @theadoptionconnection and soon after, someone reached out to me with a personal note… Which was so unusually friendly and connecting. Today I decided to listen to this podcast and this adoptee who was adopted in the late 40s, in the era of adoption secrecy because nobody discussed…
