Cathartic journaling of an adoptive mom.
Latest Posts
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Felt safety and lamentations
Ignorance is a privilege. My dad was quiet in my adolescencePunitive, or at least he threatened to punish But I knew deep down that he loved meHe was dependable A good listener and always happy to see me I do equate the felt safety around my dadWith God. And how he is to this day. Not much…
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Forewarned
How does my experience or lack there of, fit in this conversation. I study lamentations and in the beginning of the book, Israel is compared to a desolate woman, a woman who undergoes a sexual assault. Lamentations 1:10 The enemy has laid his handover all her precious things; for she has seen [pagan] nations entering into her…
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Step in or step aside
We protectInterpret words and actionsspeak highly of the otherHolding the world in balanceWith our heartWith our mind. I hear them complain about the otherAnd I weigh in my heart what I hearThen I pray. They all have a pointThey are all rightand they are all wrong. None of us is perfectBut that is a blessingWe…
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Idealizing the past
We slept in the same room. We had the loft, where it was so peaceful, sometimes eerily quiet. You could hear your thoughts rumble. And the girls had bunk beds below. At some point we had a two people couch. A Chesterton. Then we had Jackie’s desk. With the best natural light. Then this toy…
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Hugs from Jackie
We have had a rough year. Actually the last three years were rough all in all. The moment we adopted Ivy, things changed. I was more tired, and she, my first daughter, pulled away. She never showed resentment toward the young sister. She adapted and tried. I also noticed her scoliosis the month after Ivy…
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About finding things
I built a reputation of finding hard to find things ever since I was a kid. My grandma also asked me to always thread the needle ”because you have good eyes” she said. I would carry the water because I was strong. I would gather the wood for fire because I was nimble. I now…
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Work through the difficulty
An actor was sharing the lessons he learned in his debut years. Trying to enter into an audition, the door was blocked by a chair. He poked his head in and said: excuse me. I can’t begin my number. There’s a chair in the way. To which he got the replay: “work through the difficulty.…
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At capacity
We live with no margin. Even if I save some space, mental, physical, on the clock, it has become the space where I dump last minute requests, needs, plan changes. So while I get high on the success of fitting everything in just right, then I crash into the realization that this is not sustainable.…
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Compassion and curiosity
Most often I don’t feel compelled to share out loud, as words come out irreverent, botched, inadequate, but sometimes i feel I am left with words on the tip of my tongue. So I’ll spill them here to free myself. This is how I open the door to join in the feast. I have learned…
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Am I the only one overwhelmed?
I posted a story on instagram, after weeks of radio silence, a picture of the traffic I was stuck in on my way home, stating that I feel life is unbearable with the absurd chase of appointments, and circumstances of life in this season. The road in constriction, music school as an extracurricular activity and…
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Marathon days
I left, on a brisk Wednesday morning, to take Ivy to school. We get going at 7:15 because we may hit traffic. One never knows for sure. Since school started I also restarted swimming. It keeps me sane and fresh. It helps me have energy. So I did that too. I went swimming and warmed…
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The ART of Emotionally intelligent communication
I learned through adverse situations to communicate with tact, persuasively, intelligent. I don’t just say what I need to say I think about how it will be revived. And what will the reaction be. For me (especially written) communication is like playing chess. It has always been. In my professional career I honed the skill. …
