Category: Transition
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This season
…feels like the dark woods. It’s cold. It’s overwhelming. We stumble in the dark. And push through. Day in and day out. Occasionally, our inner compass, gives us a glimpse of hope. But we can’t know for certain. We pursue the North Star, through the dark clouds. And, by faith, we progress. How lovely it…
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The cocoon
We met Ivy two weeks before the pandemic hit Romania. Who knew the first two weeks would be so precious, and out of the current ordinary. We treasure those times of kisses and snuggles without reserve or masks. I have faith that much will still change around the world. And Ivy will adapt, as this…
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I tune in
I listen to my home church from California, Peninsula Bible Church Cupertino. And I am inspired to come into the light. My mind clears just as I see my mentors and pastors who lead with passion despite the comfort of their life. And they’ve been doing it since they were my age. Brian came to…
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Warmth
I wonder about how this season of pandemic is traumatizing our kids, who already have a history of trauma. Then I see the irony. Because I feel increasingly traumatized as a parent. I am tired of nagging. I have always made a conscious effort not not nag. But as I repeat the same encouragement or…
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Today I hold the new certificate in hand
We are happy. Fulfilled. Exhausted. I look at the joyous pictures we took during the first visits. And then later, when she came home. We were genuinely happy. If I take the mental tiredness out of the equation, we could be pretty happy now too. I had an hour chat with my mother in law.…
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When mommy reaches her limit
Rockbottom limit. One evening, I finished the day, crawling to the finish line. I brushed the girls teeth, I had already read them stories. Changed them in pajamas. And I said I’m going to take a bath. I didn’t have it in me to sit around in the dark, rubbing Jackie’s foot in one bed,…
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Court date
Tuesday I say yes in front of a judge. We are adopting our youngest daughter and changing her name. Evelyn Rayne. “Beloved daughter, Song of the Lord.” After the first week of school and kindergarten, finding a rhythm, has been a welcomed change. Evelyn cried every day about not wanting to go to kindergarten. Discreetly…
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Două surori acasă
Într-o săptămână avem noul certificat de naștere. Din aproape în aproape, mai adăugăm câte zece zile la finalizarea adopției. De la cererea de încuviințare a adopției, la decizia judecătorului trimisă prin poștă, la alte zece zile “drept de apel”. Apoi cererea de definitivare a deciziei, așteptarea formalităților ca apoi să ridicăm decizia definitivă și irevocabilă,…
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Responsibility
Parents need to learn to bluff. And take risks. And often, take a seat back and give time and space. Yesterday Jackie peeled 1kg of potatoes. She was so excited to do it. Two days ago I showed both girls how to peel potatoes and carrots and we made soup together. They subconsciously seek every…
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Testing our resolve
Down the rabbit hole I go… She said, as a matter of fact, that in two days she goes back to her foster mom. Why? I ask intruigued.Because I want to. She responds nonchalantly. Context is everything. And if I recall correctly, last time she said she wants to go back, we’ve had quite a…
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Grandparents birthdays
We had a great day on my parents birthday during the pandemic year. We were alone on the terrace of a fancy restaurant. Nobody smoked. The food was fresh and delicious. And beautifully served. And my parents paid.The girls tried everything and ate well. We fulfilled all our cravings for sushi and ramen and tempura…
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Contrast and memories
I long for a quiet place. But right now, life is loud and messy and heavy. I slid down the sad and tired path. Turning around is not a simple switch. I am deeply tired. and I feel guilty too. For not giving that wholehearted smile or hug, but only halfhearted wounded pride, exhausted arms…