Category: Transition
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Smartypants
These stylish kind of pants start to fit just right at around 7 years of age. Or so it seems. I frankly don’t like the look of them. I would prefer a dash of humility, self-awareness, attentiveness, emptying the cup of self to make room for valuable experiences and wisdom. I took note of personalities…
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Love versus law
My intuition tells me to slow down my legalism in integrity. I’m hunted by the verse that says that God wins us over through love, not through punishment. I had a good day with my jackie. My big girl. Thoughtful, curious, kind. It pangs me when she asks if I still love her when she…
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Minciunici și minciunele
A nins de un metru. Azi comandam ultimele lucruri necesare pentru casa in progres. Il las pe Conrad langa Dedeman si merg s-o iau pe Jackie de la școala. Îmi propun o atitudine jovială, senina, calda. E o zi buna de altfel. Dar as vrea sa transmit liniște si siguranța copiilor mei, in tumultul asta…
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Ritm de februarie
Ne-am tras sufletul in weekend. Fetele au dormit o noapte la bunici. Noi ne-am uitat la un film si ne-am culcat devreme. Am dormit neintrerupt. Evelyn vorbeste in somn. Tare. Clar. Nazal. Striga: “Mami, Dad!” Imi spune prin Somn ca a doua zi o sa ii fie dor de mine cat va fi la Gradinita.…
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A year with Evelyn
I started singing this song to Ivy tonight and she started crying. She said it makes her so emotional she doesn’t know why… both girls listened to my voice mesmerized as I sang this after dinner. I write this in awe because for the most part of the year, Evelyn asked me not to sing.…
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Doar biscuiți
O zi plină. Săptămana asta am ședințe online in fiecare zi. La 3:30 ii spui lui ivy ca am o conferinta si am nevoie de o ora neîntreruptă. Ivy se apuca de plâns: – Nu vreau sa ai conferinta! – De ce plângi? Ce-i baiu’? – Vreau sa stai cu mine. – Dar stau cu…
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Un caz de iubire
Spunându-le celorlalte mămici adoptive ca in inima copiilor noștri este loc de multa iubire, si pentru noi, si pentru asistenții maternali, chiar si pentru mama biologica, oi fi facut aluzie si la un soi de iubire si din partea noastră fata de aceste persoane de referință. Nu stiu sigur. Cert este ca iubirea copiilor nostri…
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A doua mama
Am venit cu inima si mintea distrase, nepregatite, deși am avut o oră de liniște înainte de Book club. Cu două saptamâni înainte fusesem așa miscata cand am citit capitolul despre destinul copiilor noștri adoptați, prin prisma poveștii împărătesei Estera. Cu speranța si credința reinnoite despre lucrurile care încă nu se vad, pe care doar…
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Praise
Psalms of praise In her grief and longing, Hannah worships the Lord. Gratefulness precedes miracles. Worship from a broken heart, precedes pure joy. — After everyone’s stomach is satisfied, giggles escaped, stories were shared, taste buds were tickled, I get up to clean the kitchen. Sometimes I feel the day was a success because my…
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Honest gratitude
Trying to induce the feeling of gratitude in our kids, especially by comparison, is not sustainable. It’s even dangerous. I read this idea in an article recently and I let it sink in. It totally makes sense. I don’t remember ever comparing myself to others as a kid. The article says that as we keep…
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Beginning of 2021
The girls are in the kitchen Ivy wants bread with fish egg spread. She just had dinner. But conrad indulges her. He is tired. He had a long emotional day. And a lasting headache. But he smiled and he served her. I see his profile. And I love him in that moment… just a little…
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Retrospect
“If not me, then who?” This is a strong motivator for me, not despite the inadequacy I feel, but because of it. The mirroring of others’ emotions and the trust that we are all the same, gives me courage to rise above my fear. A fellow adoptive mom asked me about a post adoption support…