Category: Transition
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Grandparents birthdays
We had a great day on my parents birthday during the pandemic year. We were alone on the terrace of a fancy restaurant. Nobody smoked. The food was fresh and delicious. And beautifully served. And my parents paid.The girls tried everything and ate well. We fulfilled all our cravings for sushi and ramen and tempura…
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Contrast and memories
I long for a quiet place. But right now, life is loud and messy and heavy. I slid down the sad and tired path. Turning around is not a simple switch. I am deeply tired. and I feel guilty too. For not giving that wholehearted smile or hug, but only halfhearted wounded pride, exhausted arms…
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Gratitude list
I let myself feel all the heavy, unpleasant feelings, and instead of confronting them and then leaving them behind, this time it felt as if I entered a labyrinth. I sunk in deeper and deeper. It didn’t help that we had two days of heavy rain and dark clouds. Conrad gave me a nice afternoon…
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First outing without the girls
Marc came over for the morning, to spent time with the grandparents. Then he came up to our apartment of his own accord, because he’s become familiar with the toys, us and the girls. Conrad got a call to go pick up his weekend ordered bag of coffee. And I got the call toPick up…
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A different type of 90 days
I’m working on my second book: the 5 year journey of adoption. A lot of it is my inner spiritual journey shaped by events and our decision to move across the world, in order to adopt. We undergo the chiseling surgery of expanding our family through the second adoption, and our brains feel wrung and…
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6 weeks together full time
The other night I was putting both girls to be and after I read each of them a story, both listened enthralled but still managed to interrupt me with nonsense a few times. Evelyn has had a hard time letting me go while falling asleep. At the foster mom nobody sat there to baby her.…
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Următoarea familie
Fie că știm sau ne dăm seama, fie că nu, copiii care merg de la o familie la alta, acceptă o situație nenaturală ca un dat. Asta se răsfrânge în subconștientul lor în diferite moduri. Una din fiicele mele mi-a spus că i-ar plăcea să locuiască la o vecină care are câțiva copii cu care…
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La jumătatea perioadei de încredințare
Scriu la biroul fetei mai mari, în camera fetelor. Evelyn doarme în patul de jos. Azi a adormit ușor, în timp ce eu clipocesc pe tastatură. Traduc o carte, și cât doarme ea, fiica cea mare citește câte o carte, sau îi citește Daddy “Harry Poster” în engleză. Avem două ore de liniște în timpul…
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Greu
Dragi părinți, e greu. Relația cu copiii noștri uneori pare unidirecțională. Ei au nevoie de noi, au emoții mari, complexe, și noi dăm și tot dăm. Primim uneori bucuria unei îmbrățișări dulci și sincere, drăgălășenia lor mai ales când dorm și nu mai au nimic de zis sau de cerut… dar pentru multă vreme relația…
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Love languages
While Evelyn is asleep, Jaclyn and I have the deepest conversations. She loves the philosophical chats. We’ve always connected talking. Hence our first book. Yesterday she asked about the book I’m reading now: “the five love languages”. We talked about each love language. And to my surprise, she recounted them all at the end. She…
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Prayer and people
How can a simple get together shift my perspective so much. We were 6 adults and 6 kids on a very generous back yard lawn. A few cats, a dog and toys. There was pizza and there were caveats of silence. All of us weigh our thoughts and words, our questions and curiosities. We find…
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Balm for the soul
We don’t lay such a heavy burden on our youngest daughter. Like a summer cool breeze, she rustles among us, with grace, love, kindness. Where does it all come from? How can she bless us more that we bless her? She’s been home full time for three weeks now. She verbalizes her adoption. Talks about…