Category: Spiritual
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First brunch with friends like family
Feeling at home with introverts Socializing is like an out of body experience. As of late. Even if I meet people, and I’m polite and engaging, I reached a new level of numbness. First joy disappears. I’m not sure if not feeling fully present / awake/ engaged is a step towards healing or a sign…
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Jackie’s insight
We are planning a two weeks trip without the kids this summer. A trekking across the Austrian alps, from hut to hut. With other adults. The girls will go to piatra with my parents, and they are mostly excited about this adventure. We are too. But the other night Jackie cried herself to sleep, that…
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Our first Recession
Newlyweds at the end of 2007. That year we got married, moved to California, started new jobs that were intense, demanding, full time. After four years of college and summer internships, full time work felt draining, stuck, oppressive. But I was commuted to pull through. To get used to it, to take the bull by its…
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a moment of clarity
Dear friends, it has been a full year. Too full. I feel completely spent. The more I did, the more it felt like it’s not enough. I befriended so many new wonderful people in 2022, but as time is limited, I feel I have neglected many old friendships. It is more joyous to give than…
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Reflecting on the wild 2022 ride
I’m slowing down slowly. Regaining my balance is tedious work. Right now the more I rest the more I need rest. I anxiously put out of my mind the thought of returning to life as it was before the holidays. In retrospect we lived 2022 with a baggage of fear. Last year before Christmas Conrad…
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DRAFT – legacy the power of our thoughts
Our thoughts about motherhood affect our ability to live out our responsibilities well. I had years to prepare for motherhood, starting from youthful indifference, as life was too busy and fulfilling without kids, to yearning for it. Wrestling with this longing to care for a child and share of the abundance of love, knowledge and…
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Conversation before bedtime
The girls pray for sweet dreams and thank god for the good day they had. I pray with gratitude, about healing, about their past, about their future, and I always thank god for the privilege of being their mom. I speak words of faith and joy and blessings over them. They flow out of me…
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Delight
I’m an empath. Overly aware of people emotions, even when they try to come across as nice, if deep down they don’t enjoy my company, I feel it. For this reason, the summer I spent with mama Gloria, as a daughter, I was treated with such delight, generosity of heart, and the elegant simple room…
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Well done, good and faithful servant
We long for words of affirmation from God, from a trusted leader. Chatting with Joana this thanksgiving we realized we have a driven personality in common. This year we worked hard and then harder, longing for someone to reassure our worth and value and contribution. I was in the mountains on a retreat with amazing…
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Postponed talk
I’ve been told I have perfectionism tendencies yet I couldn’t quite see it. Tonight we went to read in the bedroom so it wasn’t too late for a serious conversation. I brought it up. Conrad sighed, worried. He felt I ambushed him. He doesn’t like to have serious talks. Ever. I always give it a…
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Loyalty and kindness
I worry about friendship and lasting relationships for the next generations. The introvert in me was met with warmth and friendship before I sensed a real and dull ache of loneliness. I had church. I had my brother. I had family. I braced myself for my daughter’s adolescent longing for friendship. I took steps to…
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Bearing witness
“Save me” – When the enemy is outside, calling for Father, calling out to be saved, it’s natural and sane. When we slide into overwork, the mental load is crushing, and we forget our boundaries. We feel like we can’t say no. Because those asking for our help seem helpless. Be that our kids or…