Category: Parenting
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My daughters
We chisel each other. And sparks come out. Due to my tiredness, I speak my mind more freely, more unfiltered. I’m happy though, that my heart is true. I observe with fascination what drives me and what comes out under pressure. I reached my bottom line, a few times, when Jackie tried to get her…
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Fellowship online
The despair of dullness Brought to the surfaceAs we face our present state of mind, of life We are still aching from the pervasive distancing Not knowing when it would end The virus is closing in On our closest community Dangerously fear and uncertainty are suffocating The soul dullness dissipates Cleared with a gentle breath,Blown into the murky watersAnd we watch The mesmerizing ripples…
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A parent
The girls cling onto meBecause I correct themBecause I comfort them Because I don’t shy away from difficult situations The moment daddy stepped in to correct and serve their needs,I saw their respect and affection grow for him. Instantly. I don’t seek their dependency Or adoration I am a speaker of truth and I am more concerned with…
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Warmth
I wonder about how this season of pandemic is traumatizing our kids, who already have a history of trauma. Then I see the irony. Because I feel increasingly traumatized as a parent. I am tired of nagging. I have always made a conscious effort not not nag. But as I repeat the same encouragement or…
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Weekend away for Jackie’s birthday
Conrad was getting over a cold/ allergic reaction to campfire smoke. We were on edge and making wise calculated decisions seemed harder and harder to accomplish. Our empathizing with each other’s exhaustion only made things worse. We started dragging each other down. Like a derailing train we were. Nothing too unusual on the outside, but…
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letter to my altmann crew
Lately I feel that I lost my way with words. My brain feels scrambled. I don’t make much sense as I write or as I read my own freshly written thoughts. I’m coasting. To clearer shores. I hope my boat won’t sink. After chatting with mom, I felt inspired to write my Altmannside sisters. And…
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When we are so worn out we don’t see the cuteness
Everything is irritating. I started dreading certain moments of the day. But tonight I had a persuasive talk with the girls. I told them like this: Mommy and daddy are the responsible adults who love them and want what’s best for them. We will do everything in our power to keep them safe, loved and…
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When mommy reaches her limit
Rockbottom limit. One evening, I finished the day, crawling to the finish line. I brushed the girls teeth, I had already read them stories. Changed them in pajamas. And I said I’m going to take a bath. I didn’t have it in me to sit around in the dark, rubbing Jackie’s foot in one bed,…
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Obedience
When I am exhausted and I chose the lazy way, in the moment seems more patient and loving. Except it isn’t. We were cooking dinner. The girls wanted to help. They put in the pasta. And they wanted to cut the bell pepper. I split it in two and they both got to chopping. I…
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Discipline. About Responsibility and Truth.
Jaclyn made some poor choices, poor for a 6 year old. No dramatic consequences. Yet. But left unchecked, thing could easily get out of hand. I honestly forget the actual line of events, but as I was talking with Jaclyn, taking charge of the situation and setting her straight, I told her that I’m her…
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The girls fell asleep fast
I was holding ivy’s hands, caressing her arm. And holding Jackie’s foot, rubbing it. It was a great day. They spent some time with the grandparents while I went to vote and then shop for a duvet cover for ivy. And we also got a large crockpot for the apple sauce we keep making in bulk.…
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Scrambled brain
I heard a writer say to channel all the strong emotions in order to write. Frustration, fear, love, hope, joy… what about the mental exhaustion? It’s not writers’ block. Is lack of coherence. I never thought I could be this tired. After I put dinner on the table, and the girls relate to me as…