Category: Parenting
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A week of small breaks
Resting my mind. Relearning to take care of myself. Letting my parents step in, due to available circumstances. My youngest nephew spent some time at the grandparents during the work days, and taking care of him is easier when a little cousin is there to play with. I consciously protected the grandparents of the children…
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Growing pains
We all grow. In different ways. Parents and children, side by side. This week I set my decibel bar low. And it was a success from that point of view… though I myself cried more, it was definitely more cathartic. Last week I oscillated between deep sadness to hot furry. Disobedience. Exuberance. Disagreements. As I…
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Isaiah 61 – garment of praise
I stayed with this beautiful text. And at first I heard nothing. I felt nothing. After reading it every day, for a few days, I woke up at night and I could finally articulate my thoughts. Here are my reflections. Thanks to the rabbi for making me sit with the text. My hardened heart and hardened…
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No joy or simply disconnected
I realized this week that all I felt was exhaustion. There was no joy left in my being a mom. I used to have easy reset strategies, reset of mind, of body, of mindset. Whatever reset I managed, didn’t last anymore. I was feeling pretty hopelessly sad. Then I had an interview with ARFO about…
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Jackie’s curiosity about annoyances
Mom, before you had kids, were you ever annoyed? Did you and dad annoy each other in any way? Of course. Like how? Your daddy has seasonal allergies and during our first year of marriage he would wake me up at night with his sneezing. And how did you get over it? Being annoyed does…
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I tune in
I listen to my home church from California, Peninsula Bible Church Cupertino. And I am inspired to come into the light. My mind clears just as I see my mentors and pastors who lead with passion despite the comfort of their life. And they’ve been doing it since they were my age. Brian came to…
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Where are you?
It’s the question God asks of Adam and Eve before things went south. It’s a rhetorical question. Because God knows everything. What did you do? I asked Jackie what happened. She stared at me, unmovable. I know her stoicism. I didn’t even get upset deep down. Nor disappointed. So I told her the story of…
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He quickly responds
Then when you call, the Lord will answer. ‘Yes, I am here,’ he will quickly reply. Isaiah 58 Half asleep, I hear my daughter call me every night.In her sleep she cries out:“Mommy!”“Yes, ivy? I’m here!” Then… silence. She wakes me up As if to check.She always insists.And I respond. Begrudgingly of late.When will this…
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“My foster mom didn’t sing”
I stop humming. I look at her. I take a deep breath and ask: “would you prefer I stopped singing?” “Yes” she answered slightly embarrassed, quietly. It’s not the first time she tells me to stop singing. Ever since I met her. I blatantly disregarded her request when I used to drive her back to the…
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Working the land
At the beginning of this year we bought an orchard. I signed the papers on the last day before the lockdown started. Those two months of cleaning dry shrubbery and tending to the garden were a heavenly gift. I would have paid someone to let me work outside. The money we invested seemed like a…
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We slept in
Then I hear someone doing dishes. The girls woke up before us, had breakfast in silence and cleaned up after themselves. Today they took Rufus out for a morning walk in the fog. They took their sweet time getting dressed and bickering about hurrying or putting on the appropriate warm clothes. As long as they…
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Why parenting is tough
I couldn’t remember the particulars, the first year we had Jackie. We were tired, but had steam. And we traveled a lot, had energy to play and to visit with friends and new places. Mom and dad came and we had adventures together. I thought that was hard. And couldn’t imagine how the second time…