Category: Parenting
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I tune in
I listen to my home church from California, Peninsula Bible Church Cupertino. And I am inspired to come into the light. My mind clears just as I see my mentors and pastors who lead with passion despite the comfort of their life. And they’ve been doing it since they were my age. Brian came to…
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Where are you?
It’s the question God asks of Adam and Eve before things went south. It’s a rhetorical question. Because God knows everything. What did you do? I asked Jackie what happened. She stared at me, unmovable. I know her stoicism. I didn’t even get upset deep down. Nor disappointed. So I told her the story of…
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He quickly responds
Then when you call, the Lord will answer. ‘Yes, I am here,’ he will quickly reply. Isaiah 58 Half asleep, I hear my daughter call me every night.In her sleep she cries out:“Mommy!”“Yes, ivy? I’m here!” Then… silence. She wakes me up As if to check.She always insists.And I respond. Begrudgingly of late.When will this…
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“My foster mom didn’t sing”
I stop humming. I look at her. I take a deep breath and ask: “would you prefer I stopped singing?” “Yes” she answered slightly embarrassed, quietly. It’s not the first time she tells me to stop singing. Ever since I met her. I blatantly disregarded her request when I used to drive her back to the…
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Working the land
At the beginning of this year we bought an orchard. I signed the papers on the last day before the lockdown started. Those two months of cleaning dry shrubbery and tending to the garden were a heavenly gift. I would have paid someone to let me work outside. The money we invested seemed like a…
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We slept in
Then I hear someone doing dishes. The girls woke up before us, had breakfast in silence and cleaned up after themselves. Today they took Rufus out for a morning walk in the fog. They took their sweet time getting dressed and bickering about hurrying or putting on the appropriate warm clothes. As long as they…
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Why parenting is tough
I couldn’t remember the particulars, the first year we had Jackie. We were tired, but had steam. And we traveled a lot, had energy to play and to visit with friends and new places. Mom and dad came and we had adventures together. I thought that was hard. And couldn’t imagine how the second time…
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My daughters
We chisel each other. And sparks come out. Due to my tiredness, I speak my mind more freely, more unfiltered. I’m happy though, that my heart is true. I observe with fascination what drives me and what comes out under pressure. I reached my bottom line, a few times, when Jackie tried to get her…
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Fellowship online
The despair of dullness Brought to the surfaceAs we face our present state of mind, of life We are still aching from the pervasive distancing Not knowing when it would end The virus is closing in On our closest community Dangerously fear and uncertainty are suffocating The soul dullness dissipates Cleared with a gentle breath,Blown into the murky watersAnd we watch The mesmerizing ripples…
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A parent
The girls cling onto meBecause I correct themBecause I comfort them Because I don’t shy away from difficult situations The moment daddy stepped in to correct and serve their needs,I saw their respect and affection grow for him. Instantly. I don’t seek their dependency Or adoration I am a speaker of truth and I am more concerned with…
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Warmth
I wonder about how this season of pandemic is traumatizing our kids, who already have a history of trauma. Then I see the irony. Because I feel increasingly traumatized as a parent. I am tired of nagging. I have always made a conscious effort not not nag. But as I repeat the same encouragement or…
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Weekend away for Jackie’s birthday
Conrad was getting over a cold/ allergic reaction to campfire smoke. We were on edge and making wise calculated decisions seemed harder and harder to accomplish. Our empathizing with each other’s exhaustion only made things worse. We started dragging each other down. Like a derailing train we were. Nothing too unusual on the outside, but…