- Mom, my friend tried to choke me.
- Did he succeed?
- No. But…
- Ask him to never do that again. And please don’t tattletale.
- OK.
[5 minutes later]
- Mom, my friend didn’t let me speak at all. So I couldn’t ask him to not choke me anymore.
[he was now present, visibly embarrassed]
- Ok. Let’s set some rules of conduct ( I say with a kind voice)
[More banter and justification.]
- Ok. I would like you to not be so grumpy, easily offended and talk like that to me (says the boy)
- Ok. I’m sorry. And you stop hurting me, trying to choke me or pinching me. (Says the girl)
- Ok. I’m sorry.
And that was that.
I don’t want to meddle too much into children’s play. They make mistakes and they find their boundaries, with a little help. I am amazed that they have the tools to express themselves and the empathy and motivation to remain engaged.
I don’t take it personal. I don’t think they were in any danger. And I am glad that they are learning to push back and accept other kids’ boundaries.
Seeing kids talk frankly and make up is fascinating.